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Name: monday New Member   Title: Ex wife will do anything to make the kids hate my girlfriend

Ok.. Long story short... I met the love of my life and ended a rocky marriage with my wife 6 months ago. I have two girls 16/10 and one boy 14 who live with their mother in another state. Last summer, I wanted to have the kids meet my girlfriend and they freaked out. Come to find out, my ex has allowed them to think it is ok to run, yell, call her names, or anything else you can think of including physical harm. This is obviously causing great pain for my current girlfriend and she wants me to fix it. But how, I rarely get to see the kids who are 9 hours away and they have been taught that she is the reason the family is not together and why they had to move. I need help on both ends... how can I work with the kids to have them understand that behavior will not be tolerated even though it is supported and encouraged by their mother. Second, how can I patch this with my current girlfriend? She has a point that our life will not work if my kids hate her.

Name: madalex Member

Your kids should come first. You obviously don't see them very often, since they live 9 hours away (by the way, why did you let that happen?). If that means girlfriend has to disappear when they come visit you, so be it. This should be about you rebuilding your relationship with your kids, not doing what your girlfriend wants. If she does not understand that they come first, you have found the wrong girlfriend.