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Name: wilren_silvero New Member   Title: www.hackzonegroup.com :: Infidelity,Cheating, Affairs..

www.hackzonegroup.com :: Infidelity,Cheating, Affairs..

What are the signs of cheating?

He/she receives phonecalls that they don’t want you to overhear.
He/she has an e-mail address to which you do not have access.
You get the impression that you are often lied to about little things.
You no longer seem to have serious and intelligent conversations about important things and you get the feeling that your company is being avoided.
Your spouse spends hours and hours in on-line chatrooms.
Your spouse has more and more unaccounted time away from home.
You discover your spouse has a post office box, which you did not know about.
The passenger seat in the car has been moved from its usual position.
Often when you answer the phone, the caller hangs up on the other side.
Your spouse has a separate bank account you did not know about.
There are credit card transactions for gifts, hotels and restaurants that you cannot recall.
There is a sudden increase in your phone bill.
Your spouse suddenly looks different – new clothes, new hairstyle.
Your spouse suddenly has a decreased interest in having sex with you.
Your spouse joins the gym after years of being a slothful couch potato.
His/her cellphone is often switched off when you are trying to get into contact.
Your spouse is particularly attentive or particularly inattentive towards you.
You press the redial button on the phone and get through to someone you don’t know.
Your spouse tries to pick fights with you so that he/she can storm out of the house and disappear for a few hours.
When you raise your concerns, you are told that you are excessively paranoid.
Just on a cautionary note – these are merely signs that shouldn’t be missed, but are very far from real proof. To get that, you might need to either follow him/her or confront them directly. Who knows, you might even get an honest answer.

You don’t really want to be the last person to find out, do you?

Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year.

Q: What is the infidelity?
A: The infidelity is that you took something that was supposed to be mine, which is sexual or emotional intimacy, and you gave it to somebody else. I thought that we had a special relationship, and now you have contaminated it; it doesn’t feel special any more, because you shared something that was very precious to us with someone else. There are gender differences. Men feel more betrayed by their wives having sex with someone else; women feel more betrayed by their husbands being emotionally involved with someone else. What really tears men apart is to visualize their partner being sexual with somebody else. Women certainly don’t want their husbands having sex with somebody else, but if it’s an impersonal one-night fling, they may be able to deal with that better than if their husband was involved in a long-term relationship sharing all kinds of loving ways with somebody else

Q: And it is deeply traumatic.
A: It’s terrible—unless you cheated on each other during your engagement, or you or your partner came from a family where everybody cheated on everybody, or you come from certain cultures where the women don’t take it that much to heart, because that’s the way men are thought to be. The wounding results because —and I’ve heard this so many times—I finally thought I met somebody I could trust.

Q: It violates that hope or expectation that you can be who you really are with another person?
A: Yes. Affairs really aren’t about sex; they’re about betrayal. Imagine if you were married to somebody very patriotic and then found out your partner is a Russian spy. Someone having a long-term affair is leading a double life. Then you find out all that was going on in your partner’s life that you knew nothing about: Gifts that were exchanged, poems and letters that were written, trips you thought were taken for a specific reason were actually taken to meet the affair partner. To find out about all the intrigue and deception that occurred while you were operating under a different assumption is totally shattering and disorienting. That’s why people then have to get out their calendars and go back over the dates to put all the missing pieces together: when you were going to the drugstore that night and you said your car broke down and you didn’t come home for three hours, what was really happening?

Q: This is necessary?
A: In order to heal. Because any time somebody suffers from a trauma, part of the recovery is telling the story. The tornado victim will go over and over the story—"when the storm came I was in my room…"—trying to understand what happened, and how it happened. Didn’t we see the black clouds? How come we didn’t know?"

Q: And so they repeat the story until it no longer creates an unmanageable level of arousal.
A: Yes. In fact, sometimes people are more devastated if everything was wonderful before they found out. When a betrayed spouse who suspected something says, "I don’t know if I can ever trust my partner again," it is reassuring is to tell them that they can trust their own instincts the next time they have those storm warnings. When things feel okay, they can trust that things are okay. But if somebody thought everything was wonderful, how would they ever know if it happened again? It’s frightening.


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www.hackzonegroup.com :: Infidelity,Cheating, Affairs..