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Name: misty   Title: infidelity on both sides

I had an affair on my husband 6 yrs ago. I need advise. I have been faithful to him since this, but he tends to belittle me very much. After I commited the adultary, he said we would make things work, but now he says I still have not done anything to win his trust. He says that he needs me, but yet I am a whore, not a good mother nor am I a good wife. I understand what I did was wrong, but we have now had another child. He is 5 yrs old. My husband thought if we had another child that this would help our marriage. It hasn't! I know that he still hurts because of the pain I caused upon him, but he don't understand that he has hurt me as well. Within the 1st two yrs of my marriage he brought other women into the marriage. I watched him with other women. I think that hurt me just as much as myself hurting him by cheating on him.
I am just lost. We fight day and night. I thought that after six yrs we would be better. But we have only gotten worse. Does anyone have any advise for me?

Name: RelationalHarmony New Member

Misty, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I believe the infidelities are symptoms. Like you say, it's all the belittling and mistreatment that is the real problem, and that comes from something even more fundamental. I've worked with situations like yours and put couples on a whole new footing. It's not therapy or counseling, but it is an intensive workshop. This quiz will give you an idea. Just 16 questions, and if they're on target we should talk!
http://www.relationalharm
ony.org/page8/page8.php
Fernand
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Name: baby lily New Member

You did your part. You have done your best to show to him that you have regretted cheating on him. and for god's sake! 6 years had passed and he's still calling you a whore? wtf! that's not fair.

If you fight day and night..then give your kids a favor. get a divorce.The 6 years should be a sign ... if it went fine after you two have tried to work out the marraige , then you should be happy by now but since its just getting worst and worst..then get a divorce. you both deserve to be happy...

Name: misty

I have tried to do counsiling. He says to the counsilor that it is all my fault. He also drinks on a nightly basis. It really sucks. I am just so lost.
But yes, marriage cousiling has not worked for us.

Name: ragnarok07

Have you tried counseling? It sounds like there are many issues you need to discuss.

I hate to say that you should start on divorce proceedings until the two of you make one last try. If counseling doesn't work, then it's time to start the proceedings.

Good luck to you.