Choosing a divorce lawyer to represent you may be the most important decision you’ll make during your divorce proceedings. Begin your search by talking to those you know: ask for recommendations from a close friend or family member (your friends and your family – not your spouse’s) who have been through divorce themselves. If you can’t get any personal recommendations, there are professional organizations that offer lawyer referral services, such as The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (www.aaml.org), The American Bar Association – Family Law Section (www.abanet.org), and The Law Society of Upper Canada (www.lsuc.on.ca). Ask for two or three names of local lawyers who devote their practice to family law.
Check out the “Divorce Professionals Directory” on this website; all lawyers listed there practice family law, and some have detailed profiles about their practice. You can search for a lawyer that is close to home or work by selecting how far they are from your location. You can also go to Martindale-Hubbell (www.martindale.com) or Avvo (www.avvo.com), both of which offer lawyer profiles and ratings of lawyers categorized by state and ability. Read the biographies and make sure the attorneys you select specialize in matrimonial or family law.
“How much” lawyer do you actually need? The best (and most expensive) litigator money can buy, or someone who can handle the whole thing quickly and inexpensively? Is it important to find a lawyer who’s “compatible” with you: one who understands and respects your thoughts and feelings about your divorce? Your answers to these questions will be determined by your own unique circumstances, but here are some basic guidelines to help put you on the right track.
Choosing a Divorce Lawyer: Finding the Right One
As in any profession, there are good lawyers and bad lawyers. It’s up to you to do your homework – and to ask the right questions – to determine which group your lawyer falls into. The best lawyers will listen to your concerns, ask questions about what you hope to achieve, and give you an honest assessment of your chances of achieving your goals. At the end of your initial consultation, ask yourself whether you feel comfortable with this lawyer, and whether you respect each other’s positions and opinions.
When choosing a divorce lawyer, look for someone who:
- Practices matrimonial or family law.
- Has worked with – and can recommend – other professionals, such as forensic accountants, CDFA® professionals, business valuators therapists, and custody/parenting experts.
- Has a lot of relevant experience. When choosing a divorce lawyer, look for one who has worked on many divorce cases similar to yours. If your lawyer is fresh out of law school, make sure he or she has an experienced mentor at the law firm – one with an excellent knowledge of divorce law – to go over your case.
- Is a skilled negotiator. If your case can be settled without a protracted court battle, you’ll save a great deal of time, trouble, and money.
- Is reasonable. You want someone who’ll advise you to settle if the offer is fair – not encourage you to have the case drag on to satisfy your need for revenge.
- Is compatible with you. You don’t have to become best friends, but you must be comfortable enough with your lawyer to be able to share with him or her some deeply personal aspects of your life. If you can’t bring yourself to disclose information relevant to the case, you’ll be putting your lawyer at an extreme disadvantage. Your lawyer isn’t your therapist or confessor, but he or she does need to be aware of all pertinent facts in order to do a good job for you.
- Is totally candid. Your lawyer should be up-front about what he or she thinks your divorce will cost, how a judge would be likely to rule on your issues, if there are holes or any problems with your case, and whether or not you have any aces up your sleeve.
- Is not in conflict with your best interests. Don’t share a divorce lawyer with your spouse; don’t hire your spouse’s best friend, business partner, or any member of your spouse’s family to represent you – even if you’re on good terms with them. Aside from the obvious conflict of interest involved, you’ll have created enemies – and probably a whole new family feud – before your divorce settles.
- Is more than a pretty face. This may seem painfully obvious, but given our frail human nature, it bears noting here: don’t choose a lawyer based on physical attractiveness. You’re looking for competence – not for a date on Saturday night.
Choose a Divorce Lawyer Well-Versed in your Unique Issues
In each divorce, different issues come up that require special attention, so it is best to find a lawyer who concentrates on the specific issues that may arise in your divorce. Here are some examples:
- Custody. If you believe custody of your children will become a major battle, then choose a lawyer who concentrates on custody issues. Men may want to choose lawyers who are sympathetic to and experienced with men’s/fathers’ rights, and women need to find lawyers who are equally sympathetic to and experienced with women’s/mothers’ issues.
- Small Business. If one or both of you owns a small business, you should look for a divorce lawyer or a family law firm that has knowledge of businesses and corporations, and one who has relationships with reputable business valuators or forensic accountants if necessary.
- International or Out of State/Province. If your divorce deals with property located outside your state/province or country, or if there is a threat of having your child removed from the country, hiring a lawyer who knows international laws and policies is essential.
Family Law Firms: Does Size Matter?
You also need to decide whether you’d like to be represented by a sole practitioner or a full-service law firm. Your choice will be partially dictated by your spouse’s choice: if the divorce is relatively easy and friendly, you can probably agree on what kind of representation you need. If the divorce is very bitter; if there are children, money, or large assets at stake; or if your spouse is just plain “out to get you”, consider hiring a “top gun” – whether that be a well-respected individual or a team of lawyers at a prestigious law firm.
The main advantage to hiring a sole practitioner is that you know exactly who will be working on your case; in bigger law firms, the lawyer you speak to initially may not be the one who does the bulk of the work on your case. You will get to know your sole practitioner well, which should make office visits or phone conversations a little more comfortable.
Law firms come in all types and sizes. A firm can be three lawyers and a few paralegals, or 100 lawyers and more than 20 paralegals. You can hire a general practice firm that deals with various areas of the law and has a smaller department that handles divorce and family law, or a matrimonial law firm that handles only matrimonial matters.
A full-service firm can give you access to specialists in other fields if your case requires it, and they can handle complications such as shareholders’ agreements, business organization or reorganization, tax-driven settlements (including asset transfers), establishment of family trusts, real-estate transfers, or estate planning.There may be a number of people handling your divorce at a big firm, which has its own set of pros and cons. One advantage is that you get the experience of a senior lawyer while lower-priced associates, paralegals, and legal secretaries handle some of the standard elements of your case, saving you money.
Your Initial Interview with When Choosing a Divorce Lawyer
The outcome of your divorce proceedings will change the course of your life forever, so invest the time and money to find the lawyer who will do the best job for you. Interview two or three lawyers before deciding who’ll represent you. Remember: it’s your responsibility to retain a lawyer who’s not only good at his or her job, but one whose personality and outlook are compatible with yours.
Here are the questions you should ask during your initial interview with your prospective lawyer:
- Do you practice family law exclusively? If not, what percentage of your practice is family law?
- How long have you been practicing?
- What is your retainer (the initial fee paid – or, sometimes, the actual contract you sign – to officially hire a lawyer)? Is this fee refundable? What is your hourly fee?
- What are your hourly rate and billing terms? You should know what you’re paying for, how often you will be billed, and at what rates.
- Approximately how much will my divorce cost? The lawyer will only be able to provide an estimate based on the information you provide – and your realistic estimation of how amicable you and your spouse are. If you think your case is extremely simple, but your spouse’s lawyer buries your attorney in paperwork, you can expect your costs to increase.
- What do you think the outcome will be? Remember, you’re looking for truthfulness here – not to be told a fairytale.
- If your spouse has retained a divorce lawyer, ask your prospective lawyer whether he or she knows this lawyer. If so, ask:”Have you worked with him or her before? Do you think the lawyer will work to settle the case? And is there anything that would prevent you from working against this lawyer?”
- Are you willing and able to go to court if this case can’t be settled any other way? Your lawyer must have trial experience if your divorce is likely to be high-conflict and/or you have a difficult soon-to-be-ex spouse
who is going to fight you every step of the way. You also want to make sure your lawyer has won more cases than they have lost at trial.
- What percentage of your cases go to trial? If you and your ex-spouse are relatively cooperative – agreeing on many issues from the outset – you actually want to choose a lawyer with a low percentage here: a good negotiator who can settle your divorce without a long, expensive court battle.
- How long will this process take? (Again, the answer will be an approximation.)
- What are my rights, and what are my obligations during my divorce?
- At a full-service law firm, ask who will be handling the case: the lawyer you’re interviewing, an associate, or a combination of senior and junior lawyers and paralegals?
- Should I consider divorce mediation? Ask if your case – at least in the initial stages – might be a good one for mediation. If there has been violence in the relationship, or one spouse is seriously intimidated by the other, mediation may not be a viable alternative.
- Should I consider Collaborative Divorce? If you and your ex are interested in Collaborative process, each of you should interview a collaboratively-trained lawyer to find out whether you are good candidates for this alternative dispute resolution process. Each of you hires a collaborative lawyer to serve as your advisor, and both you and your ex-spouse and your lawyers sign an agreement stating that you will not go to court. If you and your ex-spouse fail to reach an agreement, both lawyers must resign and you have to start the divorce process over again with litigation lawyers.
- What happens now? Do I need to do anything? And when will I hear from you?
Finally, if there’s something you really need to know, or if you don’t understand something the lawyer said, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. It’s your divorce and your life, so make sure you understand what you’re agreeing to and what your future will look like if you choose settlement offer A or B.
Diana Shepherd is the Editorial Director and co-founder of Divorce Magazine and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®. She has been writing about divorce-related issues since 1996.
I agree that, while finding the best lawyer can be a daunting process, it is important to be thorough and make the best decision. As the article says, the result of your divorce case will affect the rest of your life, so it only makes sense to make sure to make the right decision. By consulting several different lawyers you can get a much better idea of what to look for and what kind of person will fit your needs.
I encourage people to do their homework AND trust their gut. At the end of an initial consultation, if the lawyer makes you feel uncomfortable, or if you’re not on the same page regarding your positions and opinions, then you should keep looking. Of course, if you’re uncomfortable simply because you’ve never retained a lawyer before — not because of anything the lawyer said or did — then as long as you are on the same page otherwise, you may have found the right lawyer to represent you.
I love what you said about choosing an attorney that’s candid and straightforward. It’s really important that your attorney is genuine, and the best way to detect that is through the way they handle your case. It really says a lot about them if they are able to point out the weak spots in your case. Especially when you’re going through a divorce and need a family lawyer, that integrity is really important. Thanks for the article, Diana!
The size of a law firm is very important when deciding exactly what kind of representation you want. I know that from dealing with different law firms, a sole practitioner is nice if you want to know exactly who you are working with, and know you can trust them. The advantages of going with a bigger firm though is access to a lot more resources. There is a reason they are able to keep hiring and getting bigger, it’s because they are making money, which means they win.
You wont have to worry so much about legal fees if you win. Although the courts can sometimes be unfair, getting the best attorney, and ensuring you walk away with a win is definitely worth the investment. All lawyers try to do the best they can, but by getting the best, you are giving yourself the best shot to get what is fair.
I think the most important thing to do when looking for a lawyer is really finding one to connect with. When you can develop a personal relationship with the person that will be representing you, then you can trust they will do their best to protect you. Having a 3rd party you can trust will be well worth it in such an emotional time.
Divorce can be a difficult and emotional process, so you’ll want someone on your side that you can trust. Getting an attorney that has been through the process a lot to represent you , is the best way for you to get what’s fair. Having an impartial 3rd party help you in the decision making process will be absolutely necessary in this process.
I really like what you said about choosing a divorce lawyer that is well versed in your specific issues. One of my friends has decided to separate from her husband and they have three kids. I think that finding a lawyer who has experience with custody situations will really help out everyone that is involved. Thank you for sharing.
I agree that asking if they practice family law exclusively is a good idea. It makes sense that they would be more familiar with how cases tend to go and might understand what they are doing as opposed to someone else. My husband and I have been talking about divorce, so I will make sure to ask potential lawyers the questions you suggested. Thanks for posting!
Diana, I love your point about finding a divorce lawyer who works well with other professionals. I would imagine that in a divorce you may find the need to work with accountants and other business people. It also seems like a divorce could be a stressful experience. Finding a good divorce lawyer could help mitigate some of that stress.
I think when it comes to choosing a divorce lawyer, the thing you really need to look for is someone you can connect with. Trust is a big deal when it comes to these proceedings and the law, so having someone you can tell the whole story to will make the process a lot easier. Having someone to confide in as well during this emotional time helps a lot, the relationship you have with your lawyer is incredibly invaluable.
I think the biggest thing to look for when finding a divorce lawyer is someone who has a lot of experience. If lots of people are using them, and they have a good record, they must be doing something right. Having representation on your side that can help you through this really emotional time will be the best decision you make to protect your assets and get what is fair.
When choosing a divorce lawyer, you want to make sure and find someone that you can connect with. Having a good relationship worth your lawyer will help your to trust them, and when you can tell them all the details, they will be able to protect you to the best of their ability. I think meeting with a lot of different attorneys will help you pick the one that you can most connect with to represent you at such an emotional time.
Agreed, Katie! You may have the “best” lawyer, but if you can’t connect with them, they’re not going to be able to do the best job of representing you. And if you don’t trust them — and you can’t learn to trust them — it’s over before it begins.
Getting a good legal representative on your side can really help you though this distressing time. You can be really affecting at a time like this, so getting someone one your side to help you make decisions from a lawful point of view is a really very useful benefit.
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I like what you said about what they should be practicing. I recently got divorced, and I didn’t know what kind of lawyer would be the best. Do you think that I should have asked what the lawyer studied or would a general family lawyer be good enough?
I like that you said choosing your divorce lawyer would be the biggest decision you might make during the entire procedure. I think that the divorce might sway toward your side if you hire a good lawyer. I think that knowing your lawyer might help you a little more, too.
I really like your tip about looking for someone who is compatible with you! My sister and her husband recently decided to get a divorce so I think that this information will be really helpful to her. I’ll be sure to pass it on to her, thank you for sharing!
It is great that there are professional organizations that can help you find the attorney that you need. It can be difficult to obtain a recommendation from people you know because it could be a sensitive to address someone about their experience with an attorney. It seems like a good idea to find a reputable attorney from a recognized organization.
Thanks for the advice on how to choose a lawyer! I think that this information can be applied to many different kinds of law, especially the fact that you need to find someone who has a great track history. With that being said, I need to find a real estate attorney that can help me sell my home. Thanks again! http://www.wearydavis.com/
My brother just got served with divorce papers and is now in need of a lawyer. Since this is such an emotional time I wanted to make sure he had all the information needed to hire a good attorney. You mention asking questions during the interview which I really enjoyed. My favorite question was about how many cases the lawyer has had to take to trial. Divorce is messy enough without having to add court to it. Although it can be needed. Thanks for the great advice, I will be sure to pass it on to my brother.
It's interesting that you talked about choosing a lawyer that worked on cases that are like yours. I have been looking for someone to help represent me during my divorce. It would make sense to choose someone with similar experience because they would be more likely to get what is fair.
I like the breakdown you gave us on the benefits of different sizes of law firms. I think the most important thing is finding someone who has adequate time for you and your case. That may be easier at a smaller firm.
One of the most underrated pieces of advice that this article gives is choosing a divorce attorney that you are compatible with. After all, a divorce can be an extremely rough time in your life and can put you under a lot of pressure and stress. If that is the case, then you’ll want an attorney that you can easily get along with and trust to handle the more difficult parts of your case.
Thanks for sharing,
Choosing the right family lawyer is very important it all depends on how you choose the right one and what steps you are going to implement in dealing with the particular family lawyer. Seeking suggestions from the experience one matters a lot. So The outcome of your divorce proceedings will change the course of your life forever, so invest the time and money to find the lawyer who will do the best job for you. So take the decisions and react wisely. Criminal lawyer
You mention that it is a good idea to find a lawyer who has experience in what you are needing. If you are going to have custody issues, you want to have a lawyer who knows the best way to handle that. One of my friends is going through a divorce right now, I will have to send this article over to her.
It is helpful that you mentioned that you should know how much you will be paying for a divorce lawyer, so you should ask about their hourly rates prior to hiring them. Because I am on a tight budget, it will be especially important for me to check. We are finally filing for divorce, and I want to find a lawyer to make sure that I get the most from it. When I look for one, I will be sure to check their hourly rates to consider when I am choosing one.
Family legal issues can be one of the most emotional, complicated and difficult kind of legal case one can ever go through. Apart from the formalities and demanding paper works which needs to be done, clients also need to deal with an emotional struggle in facing a devastating event in their lives. But, in any case, you need not face this struggle alone. You need to consider hiring a Family Lawyer who has the capabilities to help you in all aspects of the legal case.
Thanks for giving this information. everybody should try this.
I liked that you mentioned that your divorce lawyer should be someone you feel comfortable sharing things with. One of my neighbors is currently in the process of finding divorce lawyer that she feels she can be honest with. I would imagine that having a candid relationship with your attorney would make this difficult process a little bit easier.
These can be a long process, instead one should visit a website where you will be connected with the lawyers. Here are the list of website where you can go and share your notes : Avvo.com, thelegalhelpers.com, and more.