Humorous Quotes from Women

Here are some humorous divorce quotes from women that make you laugh – and maybe even cry!

Humorous Divorce Quotes From Women

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.”
– Janette Barber

“When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.”
– Elayne Boosler

“I would always rather be happy than dignified.” – Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” 
– Cher

“When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.”
 – Bette Davis

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
– Coco Chanel

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”
– Betty Friedan

“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.”
– Rhonda Hansome

“Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened.”
– Cora Harvey Armstrong

“The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70.”
– Helen Hayes (at age 73)

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“Whoever thought up the word ‘Mammogram’? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.”
– Jan King

“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.”
– Laurie Kuslansky

 “35 is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.”
– Caryn Laschen

“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I’m also not blonde.”
–  Dolly Parton

“No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.”
– Elizabeth Peters

“After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.”
– Ann Richards

“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.”
– Carrie Snow

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?”

– Barbra Streisand

“In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” 
– Margaret Thatcher

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
– Jennifer Unlimited

“There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out.”
– Mae West

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.”
– Mae West

“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” 
– Mae West

– Virginia Woolf, Orlando

“I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead in a year.”
– Bette Davis