Many dads write to me asking for tips on raising a daughter with high self-esteem after their divorce. I always inform them that the father-daughter connection and relationship is very important. Fostering a daughter’s self-esteem following divorce is a top priority, as girls are very vulnerable to cultural influences. For example, there’s evidence that daughters […]
Blogger's Bio
Terry Gaspard
I am a licensed therapist, college instructor, and non-fiction author specializing in divorce, remarriage, women’s issues, children, and relationships. In addition to this website, I am a regular contributor to the Gottman Institute Blog, DivorcedMoms.com, Huffington Post Divorce, and The GoodMenProject.com, among others.
As a therapist, I am interested in helping people adapt to the challenges they experience related to divorce and remarriage. I became a published writer while attending graduate school in the 1990s, where I began researching the long-term impact of parental divorce and remarriage.
My interest in the lives of women who grew up in divorced families began with my own experience. My passion for this topic grew as my clinical practice included many daughters of divorce and I experienced divorce.
My daughter Tracy and I co-authored Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents' Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship (Sourcebooks). When I wrote the book, I supplemented my clinical and personal experience by interviewing more than 300 hundred women raised in divorced families.
My initial research study in 1995 included 198 women, and I discovered that the loss of access to both parents was associated with low self-esteem in daughters of divorce. Following that, I studied a larger, diverse sample of over 300 adults and examined issues such as interpersonal relationships, family climate, and self-esteem. Both studies were published in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. My other publications focus on parenting and remarriage.
My second book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was published by Sounds True in 2020. Based on my personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, this book is a must-read for anyone contemplating remarriage.
Blog posts created by this author
5 Post-Divorce Dating Tips for Dads
If you approach dating thoughtfully after your divorce and consider your children’s needs, it will pay off in the long run. Your kids may feel a mixed bag of emotions about you dating and even harbor fantasies that you will reconcile with your ex-spouse. This might make it a challenge for them to accept someone […]
3 Holiday Tips for Adult Children of Divorce
Every year many adult children of divorce have to make a decision: Should they spend Christmas morning at Dad’s and Christmas afternoon at Mom’s? Should they spend Thanksgiving Day at both homes so as not to offend either parent? For some it comes down to avoiding the holidays all together. It may make more sense […]
Long-Distance Parenting After Divorce & Staying Connected to Your Child
In some divorce cases, a long-distance parenting is the only option. The following tips will help you make and keep a connection with your children.
Stop Being a People-Pleaser: 7 Steps to Take to Gain Control of Your Life
Being a people-pleaser can become unhealthy and take away your sense of self-worth. It’s time to exercise personal power and gain control of your life.
6 Ways to Get Ready for Commitment or Marriage
Over the last 50 years, there has been a quiet shift in the landscape of family life in America. Approximately 50% of adults over age 18 marry; this number is compared to 72% in 1960, according to The Pew Research Center. The medium age at first marriage has never been higher for brides (26.5 years) and […]
7 Signs Your Partner Is Totally Wrong for You
Unfortunately, it’s easy to overlook someone’s faults in the early stage of a relationship. Infatuation and chemistry can prevent us from seeing red flags even if they seem obvious to others. We might fall in love quickly because it feels good to be desired and fail to ask crucial questions about a person’s values, interests, […]
8 Signs You’re at Risk for an Unhealthy Relationship
The best partner will compliment you and bring out your finer qualities. When you are with him or her, you will begin to see untapped possibilities within yourself and in the world. In any relationship, you will face ups and downs and your love will be tested. However, where admiration and respect are found, love […]
8 Ways to Boost Your Child’s Confidence After Divorce
Our childhood experiences help to create the individuals we become. Parents who validate their children, are consistent, and praise them for their accomplishments (rather than their appearance, good grades, etc.) have children with higher self-esteem. After divorce, parents can encourage their children to be resilient by helping them to acquire the skills needed to feel […]
How My Divorce Made Me a Better Parent
It may come as a surprise that I believe getting a divorce catapulted me into being a better parent. I don’t believe that anyone would choose to get a divorce, and I’m not promoting single parenting. However, I’ve come to believe that there are many reasons that flying solo caused me to be a more […]
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