For the most part, people who sabotage relationships are not intentionally self-destructive. Our past experience can cast a large shadow over our present relationships, and we may not be aware that we’re playing out old patterns. Truth be told, most of us begin relationships with the expectation that we’ll be happy, so we’re blindsided when […]
Blogger's Bio
Terry Gaspard
I am a licensed therapist, college instructor, and non-fiction author specializing in divorce, remarriage, women’s issues, children, and relationships. In addition to this website, I am a regular contributor to the Gottman Institute Blog, DivorcedMoms.com, Huffington Post Divorce, and The GoodMenProject.com, among others.
As a therapist, I am interested in helping people adapt to the challenges they experience related to divorce and remarriage. I became a published writer while attending graduate school in the 1990s, where I began researching the long-term impact of parental divorce and remarriage.
My interest in the lives of women who grew up in divorced families began with my own experience. My passion for this topic grew as my clinical practice included many daughters of divorce and I experienced divorce.
My daughter Tracy and I co-authored Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents' Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship (Sourcebooks). When I wrote the book, I supplemented my clinical and personal experience by interviewing more than 300 hundred women raised in divorced families.
My initial research study in 1995 included 198 women, and I discovered that the loss of access to both parents was associated with low self-esteem in daughters of divorce. Following that, I studied a larger, diverse sample of over 300 adults and examined issues such as interpersonal relationships, family climate, and self-esteem. Both studies were published in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. My other publications focus on parenting and remarriage.
My second book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was published by Sounds True in 2020. Based on my personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, this book is a must-read for anyone contemplating remarriage.
Blog posts created by this author
How to Repair a Relationship When Your Partner Retreats
It’s easy to understand why someone would panic if they felt their partner had retreated or was no longer invested in the relationship. While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many couples struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and experience pain when their partner is pulling away or withdrawing from them. According to marriage expert Harriet Lerner, […]
5 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Destroy a Relationship
If you find yourself keeping secrets from your partners, it’s important to remember you could be destroying your relationship. Here’s why.
8 Ways You Know It’s Time to Divorce
How can you be sure that it’s time to divorce? Here are 8 early warning signs that you may be heading for splittsville.
7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions for Your Family Post-Divorce
Both parents and children may have fears when facing the holidays post-divorce. Here are 7 ways you can create happy, new traditions, for your children.
What’s the Difference Between Co-parenting and Parallel Parenting?
How you parent with your ex-spouse can make a big impact on your child’s life. Learn the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting.
5 Rules for Introducing a New Partner to Your Kids After Divorce
Consider how long you’ve been divorced, your children’s ages, and how committed you are before introducing a new partner. Waiting will pay off for everyone in the long run.
6 Steps To Forgiving Your Former Spouse For Good
Are you finding it difficult to move beyond feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment after your divorce? If so, you are not alone. Many people find themselves caught in a vicious cycle of hurt feelings after divorce. They may believe that they’ve been wronged by their former spouse and find it difficult to get beyond […]
7 Ways to Help Your Teenager Cope with Divorce: Part 2
The teenage years can be exciting yet challenging for both teens and their parents. Helping your teen make a smooth transition into becoming a more independent person can be complicated in a divorced family. Some of these challenges include: teens going back and forth between two homes, different rules in each house, parents dating just […]
7 Ways To Help Your Teenager Cope With Divorce Part 1
Unfortunately, there’s no easy solution to helping your teenager cope with divorce. But if you have built a healthy foundation with them prior to your divorce, it’s likely that your relationship will improve in time.
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