The first holidays after a divorce can be particularly hard and stressful on everyone in your life, including yourself, your ex, your children, your in-laws, family, and friends. New rules are being created about where to be, who to be with, and how to behave. Here are five things that helped me after my divorce, […]
Inspirational Stories and Advice
Celebrate Multiple Perspectives This Holiday Season
This is not a blog about how to manage – even enjoy! – the holidays as a divorced or newly separated person/family. Many of my colleagues do a great job offering useful tips. Instead, I thought I would write to you about an important concept: your ability to see diverse perspectives. As you may know, difficulty […]
Divorce Depression? 6 Cliches You Don’t Want to Hear
Here’s one job you didn’t expect when you got divorced: teaching your friends what to say to comfort you. They need to know: Sometimes saying nothing is the best direction to take. On Sunday, Grace, Susan and I plunked ourselves on our beach towels on the windswept sand at Stinson Beach, just north of San […]
7 Holiday Parenting Considerations for When the Children Are to Be with Their Other Parent
As a divorce attorney and as a divorced father, I have learned some of these things the hard way—seeing unintended effects of actions on children, and also unintended effects of my own actions on my son (who is now 22 and has “filled me in” on a few things). 1. Don’t tell your children how much […]
The Importance of Having a Holiday Plan
Plan Ahead to Ensure that You and Your Kids Have the Best Holiday Possible
Taking Care of Your Own Holiday Needs
As they approached the holiday season, two women commiserated about their lives. “You know what we need?” Liz announced to her sister-in-law Maren. Both women had their stressors. “We need a girl’s night. Why don’t you—just you—come out to the shore, spend the weekend? We’ll shop in St. Michaels, a dog-friendly town.” Liz took her […]
5 Tips to Live the Holiday You Want This Holiday Season
I’ve done much research and writing on the topic of hiding anger. I’ve found that when you’re dealing with difficult people, perhaps you’ve actually collected these characters into your life because you haven’t been assertive enough. In other words, you have become a people pleaser. It’s especially difficult during the holidays season. Be determined to […]
Surrounding Yourself with Real, Loving Support
Divorce has been called a battlefield – that may be true. But it’s also a very long walk. If you find yourself experiencing something more like a pilgrimage, then my advice to you is this: Be sure to surround yourself with real, loving support. Now you may say, “Of course my family is here for […]
Best Breakup Songs – Old and New
Whether you’re going through a divorce or the breakdown of a serious relationship, music can help to lift your spirits. It can also help you to work through whatever emotion you’re feeling at the time – from sadness to anger, denial to relief. There are angry songs that encourage you to shout out the lyrics, […]
How I Learned To Love Alone Time
Funny thing about divorce, I never knew how much I hated having alone time. Just lying in bed at night alone in my apartment on nights that he had the boys were so hard. I would either watch TV or read until I couldn’t bear to keep my eyes open any longer. I felt scared. Every […]
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