Create a Life You Love Without New Year’s Resolutions

Do you feel overwhelmed by the compulsion to make New Year’s Resolutions? What should be your top resolutions for 2020: should you try to fix your marriage (again), or get off the fence and rebuild your life after divorce?

Are you discouraged by your failure to keep your resolutions in the past?

In this post, I will show you a 4-step action plan to keep you on track every day – without making a single New Year’s resolution – and create the joyful life you deserve. 

Create a Life You Love without New Year’s Resolutions

Awareness is the only resolution you need

I have a secret for you… Living with awareness–paying attention at all times–is the only resolution you need to keep to transform your life forever. 

Once you make a habit of practicing awareness, writing a list of new year’s resolutions will become a thing of the past and living the dream your default state.

With an aware mindset, you can keep your eyes on the prize and dissolve the obstacles that block you from fulfilling your deepest desires.

Let’s get started!

Your past failures hold the keys to your future success

Instead of writing your list and posting it on the refrigerator, take inventory of those resolutions you’ve made in the past that come up every year.

Ask yourself… “Why didn’t I accomplish these goals? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Limiting beliefs? Self-doubt? Lack of discipline? Lack of support?”

Dissolve the Thoughts and Behaviors that Limit You in 4 Steps

Identify the self-sabotaging thought and behavior patterns that keep you from making a breakthrough.  Will they likely stop you from reaching your new goals?

As you encounter situations that trip you, crush them with this 4-step action plan:

1. Stop;
2. Identify your triggers;
3. Notice what you’re feeling; and
4. Replace negative thoughts and behaviors with thoughts and actions that support your desires.

Here are some examples of how to implement this strategy:

You’ve vowed to take better care of yourself and eat healthy this year. As you’re about to put that donut in your mouth, stop and think… “Am I really hungry? Why do I want this donut? Am I stressed out? Lonely? What positive action can offer the feelings of well-being I am seeking from the short-lived pleasure of the Krispy Kreme?”

Then put the donut down and take that alternative action. Meditate for a few minutes. Do yoga poses. Call an uplifting friend.

 If you surrendered to the donut already, don’t punish yourself. Create an action plan to counterattack the next craving and commit to it. Then take a brisk walk or do jumping jacks to burn calories and dissolve the post-donut remorse.

If you seek to minimize friction with your ex, notice what kinds of situations push your buttons.  Be present when you’re together and avoid reacting to things he or she says and does. Respond with kindness from your higher self. 

If you said hurtful words, step back and apologize sincerely. Recognize your propensity to speak or act without thinking and catch yourself next time.

Are you determined to rebuild your life after divorce this year? Perhaps it involves something you’ve never done before and you feel intimidated.

What is your first reaction when you hit a snag? Quit? 

Listen carefully to your inner chatter. What do you tell yourself? That you’re useless? That you never get things right? That you’re not good enough? 

Think about it… Do such messages serve you? Are they even true?

Replace these negative thoughts with positive affirmations. How about: “I can do this. I am perfectly equipped to fulfill my destiny.”

Then take inspired action, like buying a book or taking a course to teach you how to perform the next tasks with confidence. Or find a mentor to show you the ropes and support you with encouragement and expertise.

Success is yours for the taking!

The key to success is taking instant corrective action and not berating yourself when you slip up.

Take baby steps towards achieving your goals instead of feeling overwhelmed. 

Do this in every area of your life that is important to you: health, relationships, career, personal growth… You have your priorities. Honor them!

This process takes practice at first. 

But, before you know it, living consciously will become second nature, and you will master the situations that get you into trouble.

Living consciously doesn’t mean life will become trouble-free. But awareness gives you tools to prevent self-defeating actions and to tackle challenges as they come up, so you’re not tempted to quit when the going gets tough.

You will find yourself growing, achieving your goals and creating the life that, up to now, was only a fantasy.

 May the new year bring you the fulfillment of your fondest desires!