If you’re at the beginning of your divorce process, you may be considering representing yourself instead of hiring a lawyer, thinking you’ll save time and money by doing so. If your marriage was very short, if both of you are committed to ending your marriage without a legal or financial battle, if you have no children or assets, and if neither of you wants or needs to receive spousal support (alimony) from the other, then you may be able to process your own divorce using a kit or online tools.
However, most people find divorce to be a complicated and confusing process, and they’re grateful to have an experienced family lawyer to help guide them through it. You’ll need to make a lot of decisions that will affect the rest of your life – at a time when emotions may overwhelm your ability to think clearly. So although not everyone needs a divorce lawyer, obtaining a good one is often in your best interests – especially if your divorce is complicated, contested, involves children, you have significant assets, or if your soon-to-be ex-spouse has hired a divorce lawyer.
Here are five reasons to consider hiring a divorce lawyer rather than representing yourself in court.
1. You are unfamiliar with matrimonial law and/or family court
In court, self-represented litigants are not given any special treatment; judges hold them to the same standards as the lawyer for the other side. Most judges are fairly patient people, but if you don’t know the law – or what documents you need, or even what to do next – you may be pushing the judge’s patience past the breaking point. The more annoyed a judge is, the less sympathetic he/she is likely to be. Family lawyers are experts in knowing what to say to make their case seem more reasonable than yours. Lawyers who focus on areas outside family law hire a family lawyer when they’re getting a divorce; they recognize that they’ll be out of their depth when faced with a lawyer who practices family law exclusively. So it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll be able to adequately prepare to face the court process – and your spouse’s lawyer – by yourself. To make matters worse, you can jeopardize your entire case by saying or doing just one thing wrong.
2. You need objective advice at this emotional time
Divorce is an extremely emotional time for both spouses. You may experience feelings of sadness, betrayal, fear, depression, rage, confusion, and resignation – sometimes all on the same day! This level of heightened emotions, and the fact that you cannot possibly be objective about your case, will skew your judgement. Very few people have had the time or the willingness to work through their emotions about their soon-to-be ex-spouse during the divorce process, which will hinder their ability to work productively with the other side to resolve important matters. If you’re thinking of representing yourself, you need to be aware that your emotional state may prevent you from making wise decisions about the future. As an objective third party, a family lawyer can keep a clear, level head and separate themselves from the emotional side of the case in order to work towards the best resolution for everyone involved. Throughout the divorce process, a lawyer can remind you to keep your emotions in check – or even introduce you to other professionals who can help you channel your emotions into positive strategies. A good divorce lawyer can let you know when you’re being unreasonable or are asking for something that’s more-or-less impossible. When emotions are running high, it is easy to say or do things that may come off as aggressive or vindictive; a lawyer creates a buffer between you and the other side, and will do his/her best to prevent you from allowing your emotions to sabotage your case.
3. A divorce lawyer can suggest options you didn’t even know existed
A family lawyer can evaluate your situation and let you know the likely outcome if you take your case to court. Based on their experience with the judge and similar cases to yours, they’ll be able to offer a variety of legally-acceptable options to settle your case. If you and your spouse represent yourselves, you may agree on items that the judge will reject; when that happens, you’re causing more work and more delay for yourself, your spouse, the judge, and the court system. A lawyer will help you create a reasonable settlement proposal; if the proposal is coming from the other side, your lawyer will let you know whether to settle, make a counter-proposal, or fight it out in court.
4. One word: paperwork
Going through a divorce can feel like being buried alive under a mountain of paperwork to be filled out and filed with the court. Knowing which forms you’ll need for your unique situation can be challenging, and collecting all the information to complete them can be both difficult and tedious. However, producing complete paperwork is crucial: the judge will rely heavily on your documents to decide the outcome of your case. Using the wrong numbers on one form and the wrong tone or words on another could result in the judge perceiving you as careless or combative. If you omit something by mistake, the other side might accuse you of trying to hide information – which will damage your credibility and your case. A divorce lawyer knows how to fill out the paperwork properly and persuasively, increasing the chances that a judge will view your side of the argument favorably. Today, many cases are bogged down in the court system due to incomplete work presented by do-it-yourself divorces.
5. A divorce lawyer can help you focus on the “Big Picture”
While you may be solely focused on “winning” the case, a family lawyer will concentrate on creating the best deal possible – which may mean helping you to compromise on some issues so that you can get more of your “must haves.” In divorce, a good deal is one where both sides gave up some of what they had hoped to gain, but both can live with the settlement – literally. Family lawyers represent individuals with finite resources, not big corporations who have unlimited money to throw at a case, so they know cost is important. A good divorce lawyer will advise you not to waste your money by fighting over every issue, and they can help you set your priorities so you end up with more of what you actually need – even if you have to give up some of what you want to achieve it.
Finally, if you don’t know how to choose the right lawyer for your unique needs, take a minute to watch this short video: “15 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer.”
My Uncle went through a divorce a few years back and he was to get through it pretty quickly with help from an attorney. He and his ex-wife couldn’t agree on anything, but his lawyer was able to point out an alternative they hadn’t even thought of and was able to get things squared away pretty quickly. Even if you know what you’re doing and how you want to do it, having a divorce attorney can help just to get everything done quicker.
Since my divorce in 2007, I’ve learned about all the things I wish I’d done. Getting a really good divorce lawyer is definitely one of them. I wish I would have have a third party their, like a lawyer, to help me make decisions that were not solely emotional. Having someone who knows all the procedures and processes is a really good idea, especially in a trying and emotional time like this.
I never thought about the paperwork that goes into a divorce. I also didn’t know that having the wrong number paper, or wording can hurt you. That is why I am glad that there are lawyers, that know what they are doing, and are willing to help you out.
Diana, you make a great point about getting objective advice during an emotional time. It seems like a divorce would be very stressful and overwhelming. Seeking the advice from a licensed, experienced, and trusted professional could help paint a clearer picture of the situation. I’m glad that there are people and firms who can help with this process.
Getting a divorce lawyer is a really good idea simply to have an impartial 3rd party. Usually the process can be an emotional one. Having someone to give you sound advice can be a very invaluable resource. I think they have your best interests in mind, but can let you know whats truly realistic when it comes to settlement.
I’ve always had a hard time accepting help from anybody. Which isn’t very helpful when I need to find a lawyer. My husband and I are getting a divorce and I don’t know if I can handle it on my own. The stress of trying to get custody of my kids and the house is all too overwhelming. Plus they could help a lot since I’m not familiar with the family court like in your first reason.
I have a some friends who have decided to end their marriage, and I think it is a smart idea to have an attorney. Even though the decision was mutual, I agree that it can be emotional. I think the last thing my friend needs is to worry about the complicated legal process. Finding a good lawyer to help would take a lot of the stress off of her.
I agree with your point about paperwork being filled out correctly. It makes sense that the paperwork is important and you should to everything you can to make sure it’s filled out as acurately as possible for your case. My husband and I have been talking about getting a divorce, so I will start looking for divorce lawyers. Thanks for sharing!
Getting a good attorney can really help you to get through a really stressful time. Things can be really emotional so you will want to have someone one your side to help you make informed decisions. Asking around to see who has a good reputation and lots of experience will help you get the most out of the law.
Getting a good attorney on your side can really help you though this traumatic time. You can be really emotional at a time like this, so getting someone one your side to help you make decisions from a legal point of view is a really invaluable asset. The better divorce attorney you get, the better chance you will have of getting what is fair.
Just recently my sister and her husband came to the conclusion to get a divorce. I’m worried for her because I know she’s not familiar with the matrimonial law. Plus they have two kids, which means they have to go through child custody. I think she could use all the help she can get, along with maybe a few suggestions from an attorney.
Here is the reason 6
A divorce lawyer can help you to make the divorce process faster: Attorneys can let you know the requirements for divorce and can help you to come up with a settlement faster, so ultimately you can get the process over with more quickly.
Conveyancing Camden
A divorce is not something that should be taken on alone. About a year and a half ago I got a divorce, and like Tyler said below, there are some things I wish I’d done differently. When I went through the process I did it all on my own. Which made everything fall into my ex-husband’s hands. Just as the article above says. a lawyer can help you find the best deal possible. Thanks for the article! http://www.bell-lawyers.com.au/services/family-law/
When emotions enter the picture you judgment and thoughts can be clouded. I’m in the middle of a divorce trying to do it all on my own. I don’t know how much longer I will last. My objective is lost and as you said, you need to get advice. I will try to find myself a lawyer to help me.
My cousin is about to go through a divorce and I have been talking to her about hiring a divorce attorney. Paperwork is such a tedious and crucial part of the divorce process and I can see how a lawyer would greatly help with making sure everything gets filled out that needs to and make sure that it all looks right. I will read some of these points off to her and we can begin looking for an attorney together.
I really like your tip about how a divorce lawyer can suggest options that you didn’t even know existed. My husband and I have been thinking about divorce for a while now but I haven’t really known where to start with the whole process. I will have to keep these tips in mind while I look for someone to represent me, thank you for sharing.
I appreciate this information about the reasons to hire a divorce lawyer. It is good to know that attorneys know how to handle the paperwork. This would save you time and stress. Something to consider would be to find an attorney who is experienced and who has dealt with a case similar to yours before.
I really like your third tip “a divorce lawyer can suggest options you didn’t even know existed” when it comes to family law. My sister and her husband have decided to get a divorce after 10 years of marriage. I’ll be sure to pass these tips on to her so that she can get some help through the process. Thank you for sharing!
With so many divorces happening nowadays, it would help to get more objective advice. I’ve had friends who had a hard time making decisions because of emotional stress during a divorce. A divorce lawyer can be a rock to rely on.
Getting a divorce can be very stressful and emotional. I believe your second point of searching for objective advice is really important for spouses. I also suggest hiring a therapist should be considered, so that the emotional parts of the divorce doesn’t interfere with the attorney.
This article about reasons to hire a lawyer for divorce is great. I think it is really important that you mentioned needing objective advice especially since it such an emotional and confusing time for both spouses. My favorite thing that you said was that the lawyers know how to handle an annoyed judge. My cousin is getting ready to file papers for divorce and I will be sure to let him know the importance of having a lawyer during the process. Thanks for the advice.
I can see why someone would want to have an attorney to help them with all the paperwork like you mentioned. I wouldn’t even know where to start with all those legal documents, so having someone who can catch mistakes would be really helpful.
Being able to finish school was impossible for me so I just ended up marrying young, and I do agree that I have to hire a divorce attorney because I am unfamiliar with matrimonial law. I think since you mentioned that a divorce lawyer can suggest options I didn’t even know existed, I may be able to save my kids the trouble of being separated from their father. I never finished high school, so I agree that because you mentioned paperwork, I’m better off getting all the help I will need so that my husband will no longer give me a huge headache ever since he wanted a divorce.
Thanks for pointing out that an attorney can help guide you through the complex process of getting divorced. My wife and I recently decided to get divorced, so I’m thinking about hiring a lawyer to help me. I’m going to look for a good divorce lawyer in my area to use.
It’s valuable that you point that a lawyer can help you with the emotional turmoil involved in getting divorced. My wife told me last weekend that she wants to get divorced, so I’m thinking about hiring an attorney to help me. I’m going to search for a good divorce attorney in the area that I can use.
Thank you for pointing out that a lawyer can guide you through the complex legal process of getting divorced. My wife and I decided to get divorced last month, so I’m considering hiring an attorney to help me. I’m going to look for a reliable divorce attorney in the area that I can hire.
Hey Diana,
The information shared by you is so much insightful, It is very beneficial to hire a lawyer in any case as they not only help you with legal advice but also with emotional support. I have met a Lady Matrimonial Lawyer , she was handling my friend’s case and she was so much supportive to her and I believe all the lawyers are likewise.
I loved the information shared by you.