One of the most stressful events in a person’s life is divorce. Whether one wanted it or not, it can trigger all sorts of emotional reactions and send the person’s life into a spiral. It is letting go of what you once deemed to be eternal, a lifelong commitment. In the midst of it all, there is a legal procedure to complete.
The demise of a relationship is a tough cross to bear. Not only do you let go of the person you made a vow to, you let go of the dreams you shared together. Here, we want to discuss the top five strategies that help you cope with this painful stage in your life a little better.
5 Strategies for Coping With Divorce
1. Reach out for support
Often, people tend to alienate themselves from their friends, family and social groups. They tend to do this in an attempt to run away from tough conversations and upsetting emotions. The more you flee from it, the more power it has over you. It is better to reach out to your friends and family at this time.
What if you can’t?
If you believe they can’t possibly understand what you feel, you can reach out to groups created for people who are going through the same thing in life. A divorce support group is a very helpful system set up in place for people going through this change. Here, they can interact with and vent out their struggles among a group of individuals going through the same thing. 40-50% of marriages in the United States end up in divorce so it is time to stop hiding from the world because of the stigma attached to it. [1]
2. Get rid of your bed
It might seem laughable at first, but your bed is the one place in your home that is filled with memories of your marriage. We aren’t just talking about the sex but more to do with the intimate memories like cuddling, talking or even reading together. While your bed is the place you look to for rest, it might be keeping you up all night with painful memories.
What do you do?
Your bed has seen it all – laughter, sadness, sex, fights, talks and tears. But now, you have to start fresh. It’s your time to start a new chapter in your life and you do it on a new bed. One without history and one that will help you sleep wonderfully. You might want to toss out your pillows and sheets as well. A complete overhaul of your bed will let you lay down in a new chapter, untethered by recollections.
Explore your interests
It might be the end of an era, but it certainly is not the end of your life. Taking the time to explore your interests that you couldn’t before due to all the responsibilities, time constraints, etc will help you retrace your steps back to the journey of self-discovery.
How do you get started?
Pick an interest you always wanted to explore. It can be painting, fitness, traveling or anything under the sun. Go out there and try it. That’s it! Divorces can be an expensive process so if you are constrained financially, pick a hobby you can do on a budget. This will become your ‘me-time’ which is so important to rebuilding the relationship with yourself. [2]
4. Take a break
Be it a vacation or just a few days where you do absolutely nothing, a break is perfectly warranted in a situation like this. There is no real way to prepare yourself for the emotional, mental and physical exhaustion that comes along with a divorce. Take a breather, let it go!
What can you do?
There are plenty of tour packages you can find on a budget. Going to a new place, exploring a new culture, interacting with new people can be a great way to unwind. You will feel a large burden being lifted off your shoulders. If it seems to be too much of a stretch in your situation, take the time to go to a hotel and spend a few days in a new setting. The change will be palpable.
5. Support yourself
You might feel all alone and abandoned. Always remember, you aren’t. You have friends, family and more importantly, you have yourself. It is critical at this stage to support yourself. Healing comes from within and your inner strength will be the foundation.
How do you do it?
Setting up healthy routines is a great way to move towards healing. Eating regular meals, meditation, physical activity, and adequate sleep can work wonders toward a happier life. Many people have found comfort in activities like journaling, where they record their thoughts, feelings and emotional fluctuations during the day. They also write down dreams that seem to take them back to the past. These little disciplines can go a long way in personal healing. [3]
Divorce is a tough chapter in one’s life. You can’t really explain your actions or emotions at this time. It is important to let yourself feel whatever you feel, process it in a healthy manner and pave a way to move on. Of course, this also includes establishing a relationship with your ex-partner but the most important thing is to take care of yourself first.
References:
[1] Marriage & divorce. Retrieved from American Psychological Association
[2] 10 Things You MUST Do In Your First Year As A Divorcée By Laura Lifshitz. Retrieved from Your Tango
[3] Coping with Divorce. Retrieved from Mental help
I am a teacher as well as an interior designer. I know they are 2 drastic ends in skills but teaching has been my choice whereas interior designing has been passion. I love to play with designs and colours. I am keen on sharing my thoughts and experiences on interiors. It’s not only thrilling but delighting to help people know the importance of the same.
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