What’s the first step someone should take if they’ve decided they want a divorce but haven’t told their spouse?

If you’ve not yet shared the decision with your spouse, you should go about gathering various financial information as well as trying to prepare yourself both emotionally as well as economically for what’s going to be somewhat of an upheaval in your life. Share it with your spouse, ask the question, “Why?” Get prepared for that conversation to just share it with your spouse and explain not necessarily “why,” but every individual situation is different. We’re not trying to move forward and blindside someone with being very dramatic and just serving them with divorce papers. You have to have that conversation. Let’s get ready for that conversation. That conversation means that you have to have counseling or discuss it over with other family members. Get ready for that conversation with your spouse.

Rosalyn Charles is a Newark family lawyer who provides comprehensive family law services.