Some even think Christmas is a catalyst for divorce, as the first few months of the year represent the time
when divorces are at their peak, thanks to a mixture of the stresses of the holiday season and a large
number of people who were waiting until these supposedly-happy times were out of the way before ending
a relationship.
Over the festive period, couples are forced to spend a lot of time together, which can bring to the surface
any underlying problems in the relationship. The New Year also brings a sense of optimism for the year
ahead, which can also be a motivating factor in ending an unhappy relationship for those wanting a new
start.
The process of divorce can be a very stressful one, whether it was initiated by you or by your partner. This
can seem all the worse when it is set in contrast with happy times just a month or two before. While
nothing can make a divorce easy, there are a number of things you can do to help you get through a post-holiday divorce.
1. Keep Things Calm
This point works on two levels. Firstly, it is important to keep things as calm as possible from an emotional
level, notably in terms of your relationship with your partner. Try to avoid getting into excessively fiery
arguments or saying hurtful things out of spite, and especially avoid doing so in front of the children.
Secondly, try to ensure that the lifestyle changes divorce necessitates proceed in a calm and gentle way
rather than giving yourself emotional whiplash by leaping into all of them at once. There is probably no
reason to move out of the family home at the very first opportunity or to insist your former partner do so.
Do not abruptly cut off your partner financially if you are the breadwinner, and generally try to go through
the whole process with care rather than rushing into any of the big steps.
2. Think Before you Press Send
Do not send any communications that you would not want to be seen by a judge. Naturally, a divorce is a
stressful, emotional time, and there is usually more than a little animosity. Ultimately, what makes you
feel better for a couple of minutes could make you look very bad indeed when it comes to making
arrangements and settlements. This applies to social media, too.
Of course you are only human, and even the most saintly of people sometimes say things they regret. If you
do send something you shouldn’t have, don’t try to get rid of it. Explaining away a heat-of-the-moment text
or email is going to be much easier than explaining an attempt to destroy evidence.
3. Get Legal Help
Divorce can be a difficult process in practical as well as emotional terms. It is a potentially complex legal
process, and unless you want to be left floundering and at a disadvantage in negotiations, it is important to
get professional legal help and advice from the earliest possible stage.
It is also important that you try hard to work with your lawyer as effectively as you can. While your lawyer
has the legal expertise, it is you who is personally engaged in the situation. Just as you are relying on them
to help you through the legal processes, they are relying on you to keep them informed and in the loop so
they can do their best for you at all times.
Kerry Smith is the Head of Family Law at K J Smith Solicitors, a specialist family law firm that deals with a wide range of issues, including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships, and prenuptial agreements. Kerry has over 15 years experience in family law and is recommended by the Legal 500 guide to law firms in the UK.
My sister has finally had enough and is divorcing her husband. Thanks for the advice about keeping things calm and going through the process with care. I’ll have to tell my sister and help her get a family lawyer.