Holmes and Cruise Reach Divorce Settlement

Those hoping that Oprah’s couch would be called to testify at the sordid Katie Holmes vs. Tom Cruise divorce will have to wait for the fictional movie — because the two celebrities reportedly negotiated adivorce settlementearlier this afternoon.

As reported byPEOPLEmagazine, Holmes’New Yorkdivorce lawyer Jonathan Wolfe had this to festive news to share: “The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.”

Wolfe went on to thank his co-counsel ala Oscar winner speech (but without the merciful orchestra), before giving a verbal high-five to Cruise’s counsel for their “professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”

Holmes and Cruise also got in on the prepared statement action with this joint missive: “We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.”

The rapid settlement is all the more surprising given that, just hours ago, there was widespread reporting (and possibly related looting and pillaging as well) that Cruise and Holmes were both digging in for what was surely going to be a long, drawn out and thoroughly painfulchild custodybattle.

Hopefully, the two can move through the settlement swiftly, and return to making movies that an increasing number of us do not wish to see.