Humphries Wants $7m from Kardashian: Report

Those of you who find it in your hearts and wallets to donate to Jerry’s Kids, humanitarian relief efforts, environmental clean-ups, good ol’ PBS, or some other worthy cause may want to set aside some funds this year for that wounded and afflicted young man who has arguably suffered more than anyone else in recent memory, and is struggling valiantly to get back on his feet and travel that long, painful journey back to the spotlight. We speak, of course, about one Mr. Kris Humphries.

In a recent legal move that smacks of one part greed, one part delusion, and many parts of “are you kidding me?”, Humphries has apparently thrown down the gauntlet in his endless divorce from Kim Kardashian, and demanded a $7 million dollar payday – or else he’s going to drag her through what promises to be a humiliating public trial.

According to TMZ.com, word on the street is that Kardashian’s legal team gave the offer the thumbs down (though one expects they used a different finger to convey the rejection). They also likely pointed to the prenuptial agreementhe signed, and sent him a dictionary with the word “ironclad” circled many, many times.

As things stand at the moment, it looks as though Humphries will either have to climb down from Mount Excess and work this out, or western society as a whole – which has really been through a heck of a lot in the last few years — is going to bear witness to a knock ‘em out-drag ‘em out divorce between two people who probably need to be legislatively barred from ever getting engaged to another human being again, let alone married.

However, those of you who may have trouble sleeping tonight as you wonder if Humphries will need to settle for cubic zirconia-encrusted scissors to clip coupons, can take some minor comfort in the fact that the basketball pro pulled down a cool $1 million from his (so-called) wedding ceremony. He also nabbed another $300k for showing up on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

There’s no word yet on whether “Keeping Up With the Humphries” is in the works, but in a world where marriage ceremonies are enterprises, anything is possible. (Unfortunately.)