I am just starting my divorce. What pitfalls should I watch out for

1. Be nice to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. There is no point in making an enemy of your ex spouse. Frequently I see people separate on amicable terms and then immediately be nasty to their ex-spouse. Then they’re absolutely amazed when their ex spouse decides to engage in a full-blown war.
2. Be prepared to settle your case and at the same time go to trial. All too many people think that they’re case is going to settle, so they do not prepare for trial. Conversely, many people think that their case will never settle, so they don’t prepare for settlement discussions. You need to be doing both things at the same time — working with your attorney to settle the case, and working with your attorney to proceed to trial in case the case does not settle.
3. Anchor in to your family, your friends, and your job.
4. Let your employer know that you’re going through a divorce, but do not discuss the divorce details with your employer or your fellow employees. Concentrate on doing what your employer is paying you to do — your job.
5. Your divorce is not final until the judge says “divorce granted.” And after the “divorce is granted” it is necessary to follow through and make certain that all real estate titles are properly transferred, automobile titles are properly transferred, qualified domestic relations orders are properly served, bank accounts are re-titled, stocks are transferred, etc.
6. After divorce be sure and change your beneficiary designations on your 401(k) plan, your 403(b) plan and your individual retirement account. If you do not do this, then even though you are divorced your ex-spouse will end up inheriting these assets if something should happen to you – 5, 10, 20 or 30 years later.

John K. Grubb practices family law in Houston. He has a BBA, MBA, and a JD Degree. John K. Grubb focuses a significant part of his family law practice on helping couples create premarital and prenuptial agreements in Texas.