One of the most painful losses you will ever experience is the end of a marriage. Because the immense pain of this traumatic event is usually coupled with guilt, blame, and numerous self-doubts, you may begin to question the successes you’ve had in other areas of your life. For example, issues that cropped up during separation and divorce may have affected your work habits and your office demeanor. Or you may find that your children are blaming you for their hurt and anger. Then again, you may have given up on looking and feeling your best, because you are under the very wrong assumption that no one will ever again find you attractive, interesting, or desirable. Well, you’re wrong. The end of one relationship does not mean that you cannot or will not ever again find love, happiness, and fulfillment in another partnership. The pain you’re now feeling is keeping you from looking at your future with a clear eye and an open heart — but only as long as you let it. In order to raise your head high above your doubts, you must first acknowledge this stupendous change in your life as an opportunity to take a new direction with your life — yes, one that will certainly have challenges, slip-ups, and stop-gaps. But it will also present wonderful and valuable experiences that would not have happened if you had stayed in a relationship that was not satisfying to you or your former partner. Of course, this is easier said than done. Right now, what you feel are negative emotions so deep that, like quicksand, you’re enveloped in a numbness that has paralyzed you from acknowledging the many accomplishments in your life, let alone recognizing your potential for future successes — including possible relationships. Moving beyond your doubts will not be easy. But believe it or not, the negative emotions you are feeling right now are the catalyst you need to begin the healing process. The sooner you are willing and able to step out of your pain and onto a path of new discoveries that await you, the sooner this healing process can begin. Tips on How to Let Go of the Past There are four “Negative Emotions” you must heal in order to be free of the past: anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow. Negative Emotion #1: Anger Is Holding You Back Negative Emotion #2: Negative Emotion #3: Negative Emotion #4: |
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