The COVID-19 Crisis is definitely creating the impetus for many custody disputes. I’ve seen a surge in the number of people who are contacting me because the other parent is refusing to allow the children to travel to the other parent for court-ordered parenting time or visitation. Visitation refusal is happening even with parents who live only two blocks apart.
Visitation Refusal During COVID-19
The justification for the refusing parent is the Governor’s “Stay at Home” Order.
The parent who has the children states that the governor’s order takes precedence over the court orders in the case. The general consensus among family law practitioners seems to be that these refusals are wrongful, the court’s orders regarding child custody and parenting time should be followed in most cases.
However, long distance travel is often treated differently. I have seen the judges in our region temporarily halt visitation schedules where the children were scheduled to travel out of state to see their other parent for spring break. Long distance travel seems to create greater concern for the bench, as it seems to create a higher risk of spreading coronavirus with children having to fly or make long drives with stops along the way.
I’m also aware of at least one event where law enforcement officers threatened to arrest a parent who refused to allow the children to go with the parent who had driven a long distance to pick them up for a Spring Break visit.
It’s important to recognize that reasonable people can reach vastly different conclusions about the safety of child exchanges and visitation in these strange times.
California Family Courts Are Closed
Right now, most of our county superior courts are closed for almost all purposes for the near future, and likely at least through the end of April given the President’s recent pronouncement. While the courts have remained open for emergency matters, such as domestic violence and child custody emergencies, how those matters are being handled has changed. In the three counties where I practice, Sacramento, Placer and Yolo, no one other than court staff is allowed inside the courthouses. The coronavirus crisis has forced the courts to handle ex parte matters purely on the pleadings, with no oral argument allowed except in limited cases, where telephone appearances are now the norm. It has also forced our courts to accept email filings so the court staff does not have to handle papers that might be virus contaminated. Overall, court procedures are still in flux and changing from day to day, so it’s important to consult with a family law attorney who is keeping abreast of local court developments or to check the court’s website in your county to see what is happening there.
Recommendations From a Family Lawyer During the Coronavirus Crisis
If you are faced with visitation refusal during COVID-19, or other disputes over visitation and custody, my recommendations are for you to follow the court orders, or if no orders are in place, the previous practice, unless doing so would create a risk of serious or irreparable harm to the children or someone in the household of one of the parents. I would recommend against going into court ex parte at this time unless you have a very serious emergency that truly is about the health, safety, or welfare of a child or an at-risk/vulnerable caregiver. This is not a time to try to bend the rules, and the consequences are likely to be harsh for parents who take advantage of the crisis to violate their co-parent’s rights.
If you think you have a good reason to deviate from the previous practice or current court orders, I’d encourage you to discuss it with a competent family law attorney who can give you an objective read on your case.
Stephanie L. Williams is a Certified Family Law Specialist. Ms. Williams founded her Sacramento family law firm in 2002, focusing primarily on divorce, as well as annulments, child custody, child support, spousal support, domestic violence, prenups, and other family law matters. In addition to traditional courtroom litigation, she offers mediated divorce and collaborative divorce services. www.divorceoptions.net
Our 12 year old daughter is scheduled to fly from Charleston, SC to LA CA with a lay over in Atlanta June 14. Her dad is insisting she go, which I totally understand, but flying as an unaccompanied minor across country makes me beyond nervous. I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. Send her to LA and hope she doesn’t catch the virus or take it to the courts to keep her from flying until things are more safe?
This is an outrage! to have a child travel this distance, is way over the top. Not even considering what could happen to this child alone on a trip and going to CA where there are riots and the virus raging rampantly, this father is a low life , selfish inconsiderate so and so. If he loves his girl, he would make sure she is totally safe and never expose her to this kind of danger. Children are not immune either, they have also died from the consequences of COVID 19. Remember the story of Solomon who judged to cut a child in half because 2 women were fighting over it? The real mother gave the child to the wrong person just to keep it alive. this father is insisting on cutting his child in half. There is plenty of time for him to see his child, there are videos and other gadgets that can help with keeping in touch. Until a vaccine is found, no one should move a child around and risk killing other people. Some people recover from this virus, some do not. Once they catch it, its sure death. I hate to put on a child that it inadvertently killed his grand mother because the father insisted on visits.
I cannot believe how courts can insist on prior orders for child visits during a life threatening pandemic. unbelievable and irresponsible stupid people, who think they are God. This is not a normal situation, many people can die from these visits. Not just the children who can and will be carriers of the deadly virus, but the families of both sides concerned, they have grand mothers and grand fathers, or high risk members that will surely die because of these frivolous stubborn attitudes of judges.
Judges are not scientists or doctors.
any father who insists his child make a trip or even visit for any length of time during these dangerous times, is self serving and has no love for his child or any other person that might be involved. Most likely he is also not keeping safe, and therefore could not care less if his child carries the virus back to the mother and every one in her family.
Shame on the courts, for insisting on orders that kill people.
The custodial parents rights to isolate and keep distance is violated here for her or him and the children.
You ridiculous and saw your comments typical woman taking the side of another woman who is bitter and angry doesn’t want the child spend time with the father you’re the problem you and all these other women of the problem just use your rational Common Sense skills and there will never be any issue when it came to custody orders and divorce
Yes, I absolutely agree with you!
I haven’t seen my daughter since March 8. Her father claims that it’s due to COVID-19. My house has been quarantined for 96 days, yet that’s still not good enough for him. I miss my baby girl, I hate to attempt to get the courts involved, however I feel as though I have exhausted all other options.
Same but it’s my sons mother they live 20 minutes away.
When a divorce happens, it’s not typically for very pleasant reasons. Usually a relentless selfishness, entitlement, and lack of trust is the root cause of it. With divorce and shared custody or visitation schedules, COVID-19 forces divorced moms to deal with this selfishness and lack of trust all over again, in spite of getting divorced to be generally free from it. There are no laws in place for CoVid19 and divorced parents, to protect both the children and the parents, and there is definitely no guarantee that your ex spouse is going to be safe and careful, with him or herself, or with your kids. That being the case, the lack of this law or guidance for divorced parents may contribute to the spread of COVID-19, and the risk of a child’s primary caretaker dying. Why is this potentially massively life altering fact “no big deal” so far? It appears to be swept under the rug until later, but with record breaking numbers showing us the spread of this disease, later might be too late. Where does this stand as of July 2020 with over 50,000 new cases a day being reported nationally??
No guarantee that YOU live a healthy lifestyle or that YOU wouldn’t spread COVID-19 with the result of killing people more intelligent than you. Are you a judge? A Doctor? Chances are you are another know nothing panicked bitch who loves to parrot advice from other know nothing Bitches.
I have reason to believe my exhusband is on his way from ca to sc and he gets our daughter back Saturday. He refuses to give his travel info. What should I do?
My ex is refusing to wear a mask when going to public places and not social distancing either. He lied about wearing a mask and following guidelines. Now he claims his asthma exempts him from wearing a mask snd he is not going to. He started this after my girls were at his house. Now ww are going to need to quarantine after they get home. I don’t think i should have yo make them go to their dad’s house if he is not going to protect them.
Sorry for the typos
My daughter’s father (who lives 130 miles away and does not drive) has another daughter who visits on weekends. The main household of the other daughter has another child who has a different father and who goes back and forth between households. The mother of my daughter’s sister (I know this is confusing) has been taking her kids to church every week, and has conspiracy theories posted on her Facebook that suggest the pandemic is a hoax. Her kids spend time with her mother, who also continues to go to church. My daughter’s father has admitted to me that he has not worn a mask when he is doing tattoos. We don’t have the courts involved at all, and I have been driving my daughter to see her family for years and years. Now I am afraid to let her visit because of all the different households mingling and the other mother not believing that this pandemic is real (so is she following the guidelines?). My daughter misses her family, but her dad won’t take any measures regarding safety (such as keeping the other daughter with her mom for two weeks so mine can visit safely, or even wearing a mask when he tattoos. My husband is a doctor, and he realizes that from a safety standpoint, it makes sense to keep her away from her dad, but we both feel so bad. I wish I could get mediation regarding this issue by a professional, but since we have no court intervention and don’t really want any, I don’t know what our options are.
I am not a lawyer or doctor but I can give you my personal opinion based on my own personal situation similar to yours…. DO everything you can to keep your child safe at all cost. As much as you can feel bad your intentions are good. There are other means of having time with a child like Video conference daily phone calls daily. I know the physical aspect of it isn’t there BUT under the circumstances of COVID and the fact that they are not willing to take the proper steps to keep themselves safe would be enough for me to say no. Your not stopping him from seeing her or stopping communication. Your keeping your daughter and household safe. When they do supervised visits for some parents or long distance its done through video chat. Could he try and take you to court? Sure but under the circumstances, if you have text messages with him saying those things about not wearing a mask etc etc then you have a fighting chance that the judge will.understand. based on my own personal situation.
I have NEW court orders that state father shall have the children as follows: on alternating weekends from Friday at 6pm to Sunday 6pm commencing 9-18-20. The mother refuses to give me my children due to me having my children the weekend before because of the old court order schedule.
The court ignored evidence that probed my ex was still Usain drugs and was abusive to his next girlfriend and in spite of violating my protection order he got unsupervised visitation. It last long enough to caddis serious damage to my child to be was arrested and charged with several abuse, drug and theft charges. They then gave him visitation again when you was released a year later. He was then arrested again 9 months later and they again ignored me after he got out after serving 3 of a 4 year sentence. He’s still identified clean or sober and to top it off, he thinks Trump is a God and isn’t concerned about social distancing. He has seen his kid or paid support in 6 months, but now we are back on lock down he climbs out of the word work and suddenly demand he comes over for a visit. He has threatened court before but at this point why would I risk my kids life just because one judge apparently personally attends to his needs in every case? They aren’t protecting my kid so I don’t see why I should feel the need to obey the court order that he doesn’t comply with himself
The idea that in the midst of a pandemic a visitation order must still be followed is yet another example of the half-baked orders these nitwit governors and local officials have cooked up. If the non-custodial parent really had their children’s best interest at heart they would either postpone or drastically limit exposing their children to the potential to contract and/or spread a virus. Far too often though the children are pawns in a sick game between parents and very, very often when I hear from parents that express their desire to do what’s best for their children they are in fact doing what’s best for themselves.
I know of one situation where the mother will give her kids over to the devil to avoid the chest pounding and intimidation that comes with refusing the deadbeat father reduced visitation. No one knows for sure where this guy goes or who he surrounds himself with but he is known to frequent bars and is very much the type that would attend parties where there’s no masks in sight. He is irresponsible beyond imagination and his only purpose in life is to feed his ego and in the case of parenting give the illusion he really cares about his kids.
The notion that kids will be ‘damaged’ by preventing visitation would be rare due to the ease of video conferencing and other communication methods that may not be the same as being there still provide a means to stay connected. But further evidence that most don’t really have their kid’s interests in mind is that often even though video conferencing is available the non-custodial parent doesn’t take advantage of it furthering the notion they only see their kids as material possessions to be used for their own gain.
My son dad gave us covid he didn’t pick up my son on the 17th as per court order then on the 22nd of December I got covid my kids my hole family has covid my son dad is threatening me to get my son stating it his holiday and he refuse to get him the day of the court order and is now demanding that I give him my son I have covid I’m so sick and he continues to threaten me what can I do please help
I need help – I have serious underlying health issues and so does my son. There is a court order in place since 2018 which I have followed – the other parent did not and most times I had to ask him to make up time with his son, which he refused – when the pandemic hit in March my son’s father dropped him off that he was better at home with me because I wasn’t moving around. I work from home and order my groceries – we don’t move around – we sit on the porch for fresh air. I spoke with my son’s father who agreed to video visits and visits from the balcony. Every time I miss a call and/or don’t jump when he want me to he threatens to call his attorney for court. My son expressed to his dad how he feel about the drama that he presented to his son and now he has threatened to take me to court for violation of the order even though he agreed that virtual visits were best (it’s recorded). My son’s father has missed his 8th virtual party, he now refuse to video call my son because his girlfriend stated via text that I present (meaning in the same house). I was told that because my son calls his dad from my phone he can’t call him whenever he feels like it therefore I gave my son his own phone so there won’t be any issues. I have so much proof that during this I’ve cooperated an tried my best to make sure they had a relationship during this pandemic but also he refuse. My son no longer want to call his dad and that’s because he bribes my son, he tells my son lies and my son know that he is lying and he always put my son in the middle. My doctor stated that I have to work from home due to my underlying health issues and that I am high risk if I contracted covid. I just want to keep my son safe. That’s all. My son’s father text me everyday about court and negative things – I tell him the truth about how my son feels and he just simply focus on his feelings. I just need some advice.
Yea my husband signed an uncontested divorce agreement in 2015. Not knowing it states all overnight visiting to be in same city as mother resides. It was not in the visiting schedule but the phrase was under the schedule in a paragraph way below. The thing is we live In Mobile, Al and the mom in Birmingham. About a 3 hour drive. We have begged the non to let us have our visition at our home as it is much safer during Covid to be at our home than in a hotel or airbnb. She refuses. I am the step mother and have leukemia. My doctors have urged me not to travel frequently stating that it is more dangerous during Covid. My step son has asthma and could be susceptible to danger if he contracted Covid. We cannot seem to make the mother understand that her need for control is putting everyone in danger. Do you think this is a sufficient material change in order to have visitation at our home in Mobile. We have a clean safe environment as I only use the top sanitizing products. We haven’t had any guest except his parents over for Thanksgiving. Also when we stay in Birmingham we have to go out and get food and there are no activities we can do. Wherein at hone we have dogs, a oool neighborhood and fishing and things we can do without being in the public. Please advise.
The author was my lawyer during my divorce when I had a DVRO. She completely dropped the ball when failing to report violations, so it was not renewed. I guess she didn’t understand the terms. Our lives have been horrific since then, and, even with video evidence, judges don’t want to grant such. Father got away with it then and gets away with much now. “Give them an inch…” This never would’ve happened if she had reported such violations.
Be careful in whom you trust.
Perfect. Thank you, thank you. My ex suddenly came doen with Covud19 five days before Memorial Day. That’s sad… Interesting how he always gets sick right before this holiday and just can’t take his son during his week. B.S.! He’s now trying to use Covid to avoid having to take his son during his week during Memorial Day. Now I have the perfect reply when I send my son to his dad on the bus on Friday. Threats of court always tend to shut him up as I fight back.