Take One Step at a Time When Considering Divorce
Divorce, like all life-altering decisions, requires a great deal of careful forethought and preparation. Indeed, the divorce process is often more complicated than similarly life-changing events (like marriage, purchasing a house, or moving) owing to the potent mix of emotional and financial turmoil that frequently accompanies it. If you’re considering divorce, it’s therefore essential to create a comprehensive checklist of steps to take before formally initiating divorce.
1. Give Yourself Adequate Time to Think When Considering Divorce
Once you serve your spouse divorce papers and begin legal proceedings, it will be difficult to go back and change your decision. You should therefore be absolutely sure that divorce is what you want. Think about your options while you’re in a calm frame of mind and weigh up the variables: Have you exhausted all other methods of reconciliation? Would it be preferable to try a trial separation and marital counseling before deciding to divorce? Generally, it’s a good idea to visit a therapist and get some objective feedback on your situation before you start contacting legal professionals.
2. Collect and Organize Your Financial Documents
In order to settle your divorce case effectively, your lawyer will need documentation detailing your financial accounts (including retirement accounts), assets, and debts (e.g. mortgages, cars). It’s strongly advised that you make copies of all of your financial documents before you actually serve divorce papers to your spouse and are considering divorce. (Unfortunately, some spouses will attempt to hide vital financial information after the divorce has been announced.) If possible, you should talk to an accountant about your financial situation and ask him or her to prepare a balance report that shows your various assets and debts. This will expedite the process of dividing them fairly.
3. Make Any Large Transactions You Need to Make
During your divorce case, the judge may prohibit you from selling, buying, or otherwise exchanging or disposing of marital property. This is done to make sure that neither spouse can ruin the other spouse’s financial situation in an act of revenge, like by selling the family home or draining the family bank accounts. As such, if you need a new vehicle or wish to sell a rental property, you should do so before you start filing for divorce.
4. Start Researching and Interviewing Different attorneys.e Transactions You Need to Make
Selecting the right attorney to meet your needs can in itself be a complex, involved process. Most experts, such as attorney Tim Moynahan, advise that you begin by seeking a number of different recommendations from friends, family, and legal professionals: “While those lawyers with good track records of success are the ‘right’ attorneys for you, one personal referral is often just one individual’s opinion,” says Moynahan.
“If you know one or more other lawyers, ask them who they would want to represent them if they had the same problem. If possible, get as many first party referrals from other attorneys and lay people as you can. That way you’ll build up a short list of competent lawyers.”
Once you have a list of highly-recommended attorneys, start interviewing them. You should pay special attention to how well you communicate with each lawyer, you will want to pick one who makes the legal process comprehensible to you and who understands your goals for litigation. It’s also important to note that you should avoid any lawyer who appears to offer “easy answers” before fully reviewing the facts of your case. Divorce cases vary widely in complexity so your attorney will need to become familiar with your particular situation before he or she can come up with an effective plan.
5. Discuss Living and Custody Arrangements with Your Lawyer When Considering Divorce
In all but the most extreme cases, child custody is shared equally. Deciding who should live where and when, however, can be challenging. Your lawyer will be able to help you devise a workable custody arrangement so long as you provide him or her with a schedule of your existing obligations.
Your lawyer can also help you meet any goals you have for your living situation. Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, you may wish to have your spouse move out of the family home, and your behavior during the divorce process can impact your odds of meeting this objective. Your lawyer can tell you how to proceed in a way that will maximize your chances of holding onto your primary residence. Taking actions like staying with a friend or relative prior to the divorce or starting a new relationship prior to the divorce can severely impact your case.
6. Make Sure You Have a Strong Support Network in Place
No matter how excellent your lawyer is, you’re going to need additional emotional support during the divorce process. Make sure you have a network of friends, relatives, and mental health professionals you can turn to before you serve your spouse with divorce papers are still considering divorce. The more calm and centered you feel during the divorce process, the more clear-headed your decisions will be.
As a final note, remember that there’s no harm in contacting a lawyer who offers free no-obligation legal advice if you’re thinking about divorce but have not yet made a final decision. He or she can give you a more complete picture of what to expect during the divorce process. The more prepared you are, the better able you will be to deal with the challenges of divorce.
i have been in limbo for two years because of the reasons above. i know of them and am in a catch 22 situation. i don’t file for reasons i won’t go into right now but in the meantime he has sold off most personal property like it is all his. he spends like crazy , always has, on his habits personally, and i am left trying to pay our bills with someone who runs through the checking account and never tells anyone what he is spending like he is a teenager with access to someone’s checkbook. always has. however, i am not working and he is right now. married 11 years, together almost 16. no shared children and no minor children, either of us. living situation is terrible. i have an attorney retained in case but she seemed to think i needed an immediate temporary hearing and yet there are things that i am not so sure that is a good idea. i am dealing with someone i try to talk to about bills, etc. and that it is in both of our best interests that they be paid but he has been someone who has never cared, i have always been the responsible one and worked hard and improved his awful credit etc. through the years at the expense of me going without while he ran around. there are also debts he came with, a pension of his, earned before we married but the goal was to get to 55 (him) and pull it and we did and the minute we did and i was not working, he started running through it all even worse like it was all his, same with the items owned. in hindsight, everything has always been his–my stuff, his stuff, our stuff. and in hindsight, all of the years i did work as well, it was just more for him to run through while again, i tried to tell him and work towards goals. now i am in my 50s and he thinks all is his even if we divorce and i have to start over. with nothing. not that there is much. and knows nothing of our debt, never has cared, never has involved himself and thinks i am a magician that he can leave zero dollars and can find a way to pay our bills. i guess because i always have. my credit that i worked hard for, etc. just venting by writing a book here i guess but if you have any advice, or time, i would appreciate it. and like most divorce situations, there is more of course.
Anytime I say anything that is not even saying anything about another man she asumes I am accusing her for cheating