When a couple decides to divorce, they may choose to resolve their divorce issues outside of court by hiring a divorce mediator to facilitate the discussion. There are a variety of good reasons why a divorcing couple may want to go this route.
Here are 6 reasons why hiring a divorce mediator can be beneficial.
1. Asking Questions
The mediator may ask each party questions which will allow the mediator to better understand the situation from the respective party’s point of view. Asking questions also helps each party work through and articulate his or her thoughts. In addition, the mediator can help each party better understand the other party’s concerns and interests.
2. Assisting the Couple in Identifying Divorce Issues
An experienced divorce mediator can pinpoint divorce issues that the couple may not have realized were actual divorce issues. Depending on the issue, the mediator may recommend the parties consult with attorneys, neutral financial professionals or other neutral professionals as needed. This can help the mediation process.
3. Helping the Parties Communicate
The discussion of divorce issues between parties can often be difficult conversations. If the parties spend time and energy blaming each other during the discussion process it can prohibit productivity. It can also result in circular conversations which get nowhere. A mediator can help the parties rise above this by establishing and adhering to ground rules when communicating during the mediation process. This can improve the parties’ communication. These techniques may also benefit the parties in their communication with each other after divorce.
4. Handling Impasses in the Discussion
It is not uncommon for a divorcing couple to come to a standstill on one or more divorce issue. When both parties are stuck in their respective positions and thinking that it is “my way or the highway”, the presence of a neutral mediator can be beneficial. A mediator may decide to put the issue on hold and come back to it later, possibly reframe the issue and approach it from a different direction, or handle it some other way.
5. Promoting Moving the Discussion Forward
Divorce discussions can be sensitive, emotional, and difficult. Conversations without a facilitator can spiral downward to out of control venting and mud-slinging. A healthier focus would be for the divorcing couple to look ahead at their new normal and figure out how to get there. A divorce mediator can help pull the couple “out of the weeds” and direct their focus to looking ahead. Each party’s interests and concerns can be discussed. Brainstorming can occur. The parties can focus on moving forward to resolve their issues using the new normal as a backdrop instead of the past.
6. Reducing Costs
Hiring a divorce mediator as a substitute for litigating in court can save a couple a significant amount of money. It is noted that as part of the mediation process funds may be spent on attorneys and other neutral professionals as needed, but that is for the purposes of trying to resolve issues, not for the purposes of a court battle. Hiring a divorce mediator provides the opportunity for the parties to determine the divorce settlement terms together and what will work best for their family as they move forward with their lives. This can be considered a better alternative to expensive litigation.
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