Seven years after my divorce, I believed my recovery was complete. I’d put those runaway divorce emotions to bed! Then, BAM! Out of nowhere comes a jolt of loneliness (for others, it might be jealousy, abandonment, anger, depression – any of the divorce emotional heavy hitters). Loneliness is my personal nemesis. It can pounce on me when I least expect it, even years after the gavel has come down – with the same impact as during the height of the divorce combat.
My job is to learn how to manage it, now, seven years later.
Today, I said goodbye to a dear friend. No, not a funeral. She’s bright-eyed and vivacious in her mid-60s. She’s moving on – new job, new city, and new adventures. Tomorrow, she flies to New York City where her journey begins. We gave each other hugs and the appropriate “Can’t wait to see your new place!” and “We have to set a regular time to talk.”
Truth told, I don’t know when I’ll see her again. I do know I’ll miss her terribly. I could feel the hole that her absence would leave. I told myself, “Be happy for her!” but I simply couldn’t conjure it up.
I walked slowly back to my car. It’s been several years since my divorce, but that familiar knot of loneliness came screaming back, cramping in my belly and tightening in my throat. Tears filled my eyes. She had such excitement ahead of her! And what was I doing with my life? I wanted what she had: an exhilarating new beginning with palpable what-happens-next exhilaration.
I had none of that. I was alone. I had recently ended a four-year relationship that I thought would be the love of my life. My adult kids have their own lives well beyond mine. Who needs me? I could feel the dark cloak of loneliness wrapping around my shoulders.
When I got home, I plunked myself on my couch. I cried hard.
Then came the mini-intervention with myself. Let’s get real: I felt abandoned (everyone’s primal fear) and I felt jealousy, too. It’s so easy to see her grass as a lot greener than my own.
I didn’t want to be crippled, again, by those feelings so reminiscent of my divorce – loneliness, fear of abandonment, and jealousy. What could I do?
7 Cures to Move on From the Lingering Loneliness After Divorce
These are the steps I took to provide an escape hatch from the intensity of the loneliness that I felt.
1. Recognize this for what it is: A personal full-blown pity party.
It’s easy to slip into dramatic self-pity mode when you’re the one left behind, just as it was in my divorce. However, this is not my divorce, and my life will not be permanently altered. I’m feeling sorry for myself and it reminds me of divorce feelings. Note to self: gather up the drama and throw it in the garbage.
2. I am what I think! My brain believes everything I tell it.
I can choose the thoughts to think. When the destructive lonely thoughts emerge, I can refuse to accept them! Like a surfer waiting for the right wave, I can simply say to myself: “That’s not the thought I want right now. I’ll wait for a better one.”
3. Get out the daily gratitude list that we’ve all been told to keep but somehow manage to forget.
Write in it, right now! #1 – I am healthy and building a successful business. #2 – I have two grown daughters that love me very much. #3 – I’m blessed to live in a country where women aren’t persecuted and renounced. #4 – I’m much better off than I think I am. Need proof? Turn on the news.
4. Laughter is still the best medicine.
Combine it with music, and it’s a winner! Here’s my favorite YouTube video. Here’s my second favorite. Music and laughter heal the soul, and they could heal mine!
5. I’ll remind myself that life is change. Period.
To believe otherwise is a fool’s game. Happiness morphs into challenging times, eventually. Unhappy changes to joy. And so it goes. It’s all part of life’s cycle. No one said it would be easy. To pout, waiting for the eventual contentment that others appear to have, is naïve and childlike. My friend had her own bout of loneliness, raising two boys by herself after her husband died from a wretched fight with diabetes. I tend to forget that when I’m sucking my thumb at my pity party! Not that she had to earn it, but it’s her time to be happy. So be it.
6. I’ll get my derriere off the couch and go for a walk.
Physical exercise changes everything.
7. I’ll post self-messages all around my house:
“What little mini-miracles are in my life right now?”
“What’s happening right now that I can be grateful for?”; “Spread smiles!”
Managing the Lingering Loneliness After Divorce
How to manage those emotional gremlins that continue to rear their ugly heads long after the divorce is over? I’m convinced that it’s a lifelong process of well-prepared self-intervention.
The question to ask is: Will I be the strong woman I am, and seek out creative ways to handle this upswelling of emotion from the past? Or, will I be crippled each time I have a flashback?
It’s a choice we have to make every day.
Thanks for writing this. It hit home and rained on my pity party 😉
Honesty at last! I can so relate. Thank you.
I am feeling so alone and like I’m not present and there for my children who need me now more than EVER. Thank you for writing this. It helped to put a positive spin in things.
It’s been so hard as of late. My daughter moved out in April and she is doing well. As is my son who moved two years ago already. But I lived with a Roomate who’s son was very difficult and I needed them to move. I felt so guilty, I am a real caretaker, but I hadn’t been caring for myself. I knew they needed to leave in August, but the guilt…finally I just realized I mattered, and I’d already raised my kids and I couldn’t do it anymore. It took me months to let go. And I have been alone here for a month and a half. At first it was so peaceful, but it has brought up feelings of grief I have experienced on and off for the past 4 years. Just when I think I’m ok, I’m not. I have never lived alone in 56 years and it’s hard for me not having a partner to share things with. But I am grateful I have another single girlfriend, grown kid too, moving in this weekend. I just need to hang in there. But God sometimes it hurts all over again. For anyone else reading this, hang in there. I too, have to make new friends as life goes on. It’s just hard for me to open up. Thank you for sharing your story and giving me this chance to crack open a bit.
Been divorced for two years but an empty nester only for past eight months, I have thought about getting a roommate. I haven’t because my sons do come home during breaks and I only have enough space for them. Good luck with your new roommate. I hope it works out for you.
Good job controling the issues you face.
Divorced for two years and both sons away at college, no family closer than 1,200 miles, many days are filled with lonliness. I appreciated reading this. I have a brand new career that is self driven so that can be difficult too….”I’ll do it tomorrow…”
Gratitude is where it’s at for me. Thank you for this reminder and article.
Hi, thanks for your article. It helps to read about how others are feeling. It’s early days for me as my husband and I have only been separated since July 2016, so I’m still working at accepting our future apart. He told me one day last summer that he was unhappy and didn’t feel anything for me anymore, didn’t want to work at fixing our relationship. I was completely unaware, shocked and devastated. It’s still pretty surreal. He moved out his personal effects over the course of the following weeks and is renting a place 300 miles away. The month before he told me, we’d just put our house up for sale as we were planning to sell up and down size, so no more mortgage, get a dog and change our lifestyles,work part-time and enjoy life. So anyway, we’ve recently sold our house, but it’s due to be split between us and we’re going our separate ways…I expect we’ll complete in 4-6 wks which is so sad and scary. We’d spent 9 happy years together and I can honestly say my happiest times in life were when we were together. I miss him dreadfully, not every day anymore, but most days I do miss him. Im not sure I’ll ever completely trust in someone which makes me feel sad.
Always trust in yourself first and life will always open a door the most difficult part of life it’s nurturing ourself with gratitude appreciation and compassion.
I have been separated for my wife for 6 years. And I’ve been stuck in this moment like Groundhog Day. Very unhealthy. Why do I continue that pathway? One never knows what a new day will bring… it’s a new day it’s a new way to think. It’s a new day a new way to get healthy. It’s a new day time for me to love me it’s a new day now make your day the way you want it to be for you the conscious mind runs everything. Enclosing guilt and shame fills our souls unexpected events create despair but life is about the five senses…. so may I say go out and live your life with abundance and it’s okay to be selfish and loving yourself. I’m moving forward the best I can these have words of wisdom that I want to share .. it’s a new day let’s get out and share
Problem… what if you’re male and your ex successfully turned your kids away from you? They don’t return texts or phone calls.
I am going through this very thing. 18,20,22 and 25 year old all hate me and will not have anything to do with me.
I feel ya on the kids don’t talk. I also have that problem. My preacher said that I “Just have to start over”. From the beginning. Keep them in my heart and prayers, but if they don’t want anything from me then I have to roll on and figure a way around it. They will come back some day I’m sure.
Your kids will come back to you. They need you. They will realize it. In the meantime love yourself and those around you. The anger fades. They realize mom wasn’t perfect. They learn marrige is very hard. Especially if 1 person won’t try. Continue to be loving. And wait.
My loneliness is overwhelming. I live alone both of
my children are on their own and my daughter is
moving from Chicago to Portand soon and I live
in Indiana. My ex married the woman he cheated
on me with. I was married almost 34 years and have
been divorced for almost 4 years. I wish I could
meet a compatible man and bring love into my life
again. I can only take so much aloneness,
coming home to an empty house. Since my ex
husband started his affair and moved on to
greener pastures, I have been lonely for all the
benefits of marriage, especially sexual intimacy.
I am afraid of ending up like an old ugly spinster
no man would look at twice. I am tired of coming
home to an empty condo with no one to talk to.
I get by financially, but have to be rather careful
with my money. I have no hope. The love of a man
is a wonderful and seems entirely out of my reach.I
workout regularly and watch my weight. I guess
all the good ones are already taken. This is bleak.
How are you doing since you wrote this. I live in San Diego, California. My wife abandoned me two years ago. My name is Matt
Hello Helen. That’s how I feel about finding a woman – my ex-wife was a cheater and I couldn’t take it no more and I left the home I filed for divorce, Six years later I am trying to find a woman but it’s very hard to find a compatible person that’s not into bars and heading out. It hit me recently how lonely I am again and how much I want to be loved.
HI Helen. You have just described me. Thank you for sharing…..
HI I thought I would add my experiences.. Guy .. married for 23 years ….last 3 with my partner diagnosed as being bipolar.. supporting her through several suicide attempts.. and finally cast aside during one up swing of her disorder.. and now divorced for about 18 months.. great not to have all this crap to deal with any more (still living some of it as there are 2 young children caught in the crossfire) but it’s hard to pick up the bits that are left of me… trying to stick them back together and look to the future.. I’m on the whole upbeat about life but it’s not dealt me a winning hand as yet.. I do feel an acute loneliness … fine when out with others (I have lots of activities to try and fill my time) but when alone at home … I seem stuck to the couch and feed my growing self-pity.. I’m sure it’s linked to a lack of self-esteem which I must find a way to address ..any suggestions welcome!!
I wanted to share another realization … After divorcing I felt I was ready to rebuild my life .. find a new partner etc.. seems us guys are quicker down this route!! Plenty of offers but not anyone I was interested in .. then the realization that I was in fact trying to recreate my past structure …. Stick a plaster over the wound.. fill the hole that was left in my life… BUT… I have come to understand that you can’t!! The future will be different! My path and future relations will be different, how? I don’t know but part of the self-pity loneliness I have is because I could not recreate my past environment. Expectations need to realign and then we can move forward leaving some (probably not all) that loneliness behind us as we concentrate on the present and future … So don’t be afraid by these feelings.. Fill your time … be flexible with your attitude and get out there with a smile and embrace what comes your way!! Ps That couch of yours is not going to do it for you!
Hi Peter. Thank you for sharing a bit of your world. Must say good for you for realising that you were trying to replicate what you’ve had. My ex had been with a woman for about two years that creepily looks a lot like me! So much so that on his FB page, people thought it was me. I do see that men do “bounce back ” much quicker but bot sure how healthy that is.
What had been amazing for me is writing a daily journal of gratitude. Sometimes only five things but thinking about and focusing on what is good has been the key for me.
Granted my children or older (now 20 and 22) but they have a relationship with their father so there is still that connection. Scoop up those babies and know how blessed you are to have them safely in your care.
Thank you, great advise.
Thank you. I have been experiencing this pity party for far too long. My last child has graduated from high school. I put off meeting anyone and now I am so alone. My mom lives miles away from me and my father died a year ago this coming October. There has got to be something positive to look forward to. I just need to figure out what it is. I am older, not young any more.
Thank you! Holidays are here and the only party I’m having is a pity party. Thanks for the wake up call! 💕
Thanks for the post. I watched the videos. They definitely helped and reminded me I need to make choices each day. Have this list bookmarked for the future.
When you described the “familiar knit of loneliness creeping back in” I could totally relate. It was so good to read that I am not the only divorced 61 year old women feeling this way. Thank you for writing this and the tips to overcoming the wretched feeling – it makes a lot of sense!
It’s a relief to know we are not alone in that so many of us have similar emotions. Would love to have a glass of wine with a friend like you. There’s always hope but endings are definitely painful. Thanks for your deep honestly.
Hello. Thanks for your comment. Re friends, wow, I must say it’s been a roller coaster. Some new “post divorce” friends were close for a time but a couple have gone on. Sometimes I think that I appear to be “so strong” and not necessarily needing to lean. Rather it’s sometimes still a struggle to move forward but I chose not to wallow in it. Some newer friends are choosing to stay angry and bitter which I definitely choose not to be. Doesn’t mean that loneliness doesn’t creep in! I’m learning so much about myself especially this past year. Love to have a glass of wine with you. 🙂 I’m in N. California which adds to the lonliness. I find that other places are my “happy places” but my sons are close by and therfore don’t want to move away.
This is a terrible article full of denial and emotional suppression.
No wonder you are still having problems! “gather up the drama and throw it in the garbage” what the hell is that?
Sweetheart you will never heal this way. Your emotional wounds will fester and all you will do is re-experience this pain over and over again. You are not getting yourself feel or experience your emotions. You are minimizing and invalidating your own experiences and (even more damagingly) giving others who are hurting the same harmful “advice”
Please seek therapy. Please stop telling yourself and others to “gather up the drama and throw it in the garbage” that is an incredibly damaging thing to suggest.
All this is well and good but guess what we are still alone no matter how blessed,how long thr gratitude list is or how much exercise we do. Its like la la land – if we ignore it it might go away. Well for a lot it doesn’t ever go away – it always feels like second prize.
Thank you.
I needed this.
When it’s over When you split up, you may find it very hard to let go of your ex-partner. This often happens when one partner is keener to end a relationship than the other. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important.
Just what i need at exactly the time I need it. Suddenly going home from hospital to my empty house feels like the beginning of something I can create not something I have to dread because of loneliness. First stop, get access doors put in then I can wheel myself (I’m disabled) out and about on my own terms and not rely on others.
Thank you
My singleness began on October 31, 2015, and I became a divorcee in January of 2017. Throughout the process of separation, divorce, and now singleness, my personal relationships with God and my best friend, assist me with healing and becoming whole, and only within the last week, I’ve felt healed. I presently, no longer cry daily nor feel the constant ache or numbness, which presented as emotional and physical pain, as I conclude that now I accept that the relationship is to be no more, he is happily with someone else, and I am valuable (a whole individual). The feeling of loneliness has been the most difficult feeling to endure. But, as I focus on inner peace (enlightenment) and maintaining a peace of mind (serenity and calmness), singleness (seeing my self as alone and not lonely) is assisting me with doing things that I enjoy, such as taking myself on dates, conducting dinner parties, and taking solo vacations. Healing after divorce is truly a process.
Thanks for your article and interesting comments from everyone. I‘m in the midst of my pity-party which tends to build up after days or weeks and ends in long bouts of crying myself to sleep. After 26 yrs a couple and 24 years married, my husband suddenly decides he‘s trans-gender and wants to be a lady. He will not only mutilate his body with surgeries, but will mutilate our future together. Divorce is now the only way. After the new year we will start the process. Our kids are still in high school and starting college. The worst part is that we live in his family‘s house, the one he grew up in and his elderly mother lives next door, so I chose to move out since she needs him around. Our kids are also pretty freaked out, but still living at home. I‘ve more or less lost everything: Husband, Kids, Home. I don‘t see a future where I can be near him, I haven‘t wanted to see him (her) at all. I can‘t just accept this new reality. I need to create a whole new life for myself, but I can‘t see it yet. My job and appt are far from home, don’t see the kids much. They are so busy anyway at their age. Don’t really need mama much. In the past we always realized each and every dream we set out to do as a couple and now I‘m lost without him. Sometimes I find it hard to breathe with the grief rising high in my chest. I do hope that 1 year from now, things will look brighter. I‘m giving myself 1 year before I totally give up on life.
Carolyn Sue, I can see this is a dreadful time for you. And yes, as a divorce coach, I can say that 1 year from now things will look brighter. However, right now, things look pretty bleak. Your roles as a woman and a wife have been dramatically altered with the news of your husband’s transitioning from male to female. Your whole life seems to be crumbling in front of your eyes. I have counseled many partners of newly transitioning people, and there’s no doubt – it’s one of the most challenging changes we face as humans because it so deeply affects everyone around that person. For you, know that you are not alone – others have gone before you in the same situation and have come out the other side with a new life. Yes, it will happen, but first you must get through the agony you feel.
The most critical element for you right now is to get professional help and support so you can think clearly. Find a therapist who specializes in transgender and transitioning (They’re out there but you might have to dig to find them). Also, find a support group. Go online and google “support group in [your city] for families of transgendered people”. Here’s a wonderful resource for you: www.hrc.org/resources/resources-for-people-with-transgender-family-members.
If you can’t find a specialist or a support group, find a good therapist who is not judgmental against transgendered people. You need someone who can see the big picture, and who will help you with the pain and anger you feel without castigating the entire transgendered community. Right now, if you’re like others who have experienced this, you feel lost, blindsided, lied to, alone and terribly sad and confused. Surround yourself with people you love: girl friends who will let you cry, scream, talk – and they will listen. This is very raw for you right now. If you need more help, let me know via clicking on my name at the beginning of the blog above and find my email, and we’ll talk.
Anyone still on here? I was left by my wife a couple months ago and I struggle every day Counseling 3 times a week for 3 hrs. Church 3 to 4 days a week. I felt I was married to my soulmate and that I would never ever be without her. Then 1 day just gone. We worked together as a business, traveling together for years. This is the worst thing I have ever experienced. It’s also compounded by the fact I will not be able to have kids at this point if I was ever to start over. Everyday I think about ending it all but don’t only because I know it’s wrong to do. Does anyone out there want to exchange numbers for maybe just talking on the phone when feeling down about things?
Hello Josh! As a believer, an awesome tool for me is Life after Separation, Single, & Divorce, by Dr. Myles Monroe. The book truly explains the heart break, process of healing, and wholeness. This is year three for me, and I am truly overcoming through Christ, & only through Him. God bless you!
Josh, First, know that you’re not alone in your devastation. I see the same reaction that you are having every day in my clients who are “left at the alter” (blindsided), as you were. Yes, the pain is excruciating. Your feelings of confusion, sadness, anger are all normal, and to be expected – even though it hurts like crazy. It means that you have a deep sense of commitment that has been broken. Does knowing that make moving forward easier? Heck, no. The pain is still palpable. Gives new meaning to the word “heartbreak”, doesn’t it? That said, I want you to know, and believe, that you will heal from this. It may not seem like it right now, but you will. There are some practical steps to take, in the meantime, while your healing occurs.
1. Most important, I detect thoughts of suicide, which I, as a therapist and divorce coach take very seriously. First, know that ending your life is not the answer. Hang on, don’t give up, get through this wretched time and you will heal. A new life will emerge over time. If you are seriously considering “ending it”, stop reading this and call 911 right now. Tell them you are suicidal and need to talk to someone. They will help you.
2. I see that you are turning to your spiritual tradition for help, and I encourage you to continue going to your church for support.
3. Consider medications. Often our belief system needs a little help so we can think clearly. Proper anti-depression medication can do that when prescribed accurately. They were developed to help people in your situation. Talk to your doctor. It may give you the level head and calmness you need to proceed.
4. Know that you are loved – by your friends, your family, your church.
5. Three practical tips: laugh at least once every day. Google “funny animal videos” and learn to smile again. Second tip: get lots of exercise and fresh air. Get outside. Endorphins (feel-good hormones) happen when you walk or exercise briskly. Third tip: Tell yourself that you will get through this. That self-message is important even if you don’t believe it. Eventually, you will. Life goes on, Josh, and so will yours, but it will take time. You can do this! If you need more help, let me know via clicking on my name at the beginning of the blog above and find my email, and we’ll talk. Don’t give up. As my mother always said, “This, too, shall pass.”
Wow, until I came across this site… I really thought I was alone in my feelings. After 6 years of marriage I have been living without him for 7 months. The last two years of being in the same house was also like living alone. Then, my fees were verified that he cheated over the last summer and there were other lies I discovered that looked like she was never the only one. I stayed, we did counseling…but between his lack of patience to deal with my being in pain or what he did and him gaslighting me all the time—things gots worse. He then called me at work one day to say he wanted to divorce me. He left two days later. But just a few days into it he began to call me and stated he only meant to separate.. give US time to heal. Yet he’s only seen me s handful of times in seven months. He calls daily still saying he’s coming home just has it. I’ve held my life back. I moved in months of him leaving to my own place with my child, started paying my bills without him, met with an attorney and completed the divorce paperwork, but I can’t seem to drag myself down to file it! Even my therapist said I’m stuck. I tell myself daily I want to date and break off all ties but I haven’t done it. I think my fear is that I’m in my 40s and this breakup at this time feels more like doom to me than previous breakups because I’m having a hard time being alone and seeing not being alone in my future at my age. I also think I’m depressed and even my posture has changed. I empathize with each and every person going through this and I want you to know I am praying for you to come through it whole. I pray for peace.
Thank you for writing this. I have had a rough time. At 50, I have been married three times and now am single again. My first husband turned out an extreme controller with other psychological issues, and I finally found the courage to leave him. My second husband was the love of my life and sadly, had an unexpected heart attack and passed away. My third and last husband and I just could not communicate and one day he just left. That was last year. I have found a new job, moved across country and know I have a lot going for me. I am trying my best. I have no children and my parents have passed. It’s been a challenge to pick it up again and move forward without a lot of depression, anxiety and loneliness. But I am trying….I really have no other choice.
It’s the day after Thanksgiving. I’m snowed in with family I don’t get along with. I have my son with me, which I’m very grateful for. My divorce was final last week. This is the first holiday after the split. I’ve got a long road back to normalcy!
Loved the Stevie Wonder one.
This is how I continue to feel after 28 years of marriage – separated/divorced now 5 years later and feel increased isolation 🙁
My Husband of 16 years and I are getting divorced. We have been separated for two weeks now but are still living together. It is extremely challenging to be living together while seperated, but he will be leaving in the next couple of months once he gets everything situated. My daughters who are 12 and 14 went out to see the sunset with their dad. So naturally I decide to go out as well. So I went on a walk with our dog B, and when I returned home, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was utterly alone. I feel this uneasiness being alone that makes me feel so confused. I don’t know how to be alone, I felt this uneasiness of not knowing what to do with this new found solitude. I almost began to cry when I came across this article. Thank you. I have no-one honestly and not I’m not exaggerating. All my family lives in 600 miles away and I didn’t really establish any relationships with people because my ex-husband and I were kinda like hermits. We did everything together with our daughters. We both have always been very family oriented. im glad came across this article,Knowing im not alone in feeling this emptiness is somehow comforting. I guess I need to put on my big girls shoes and embrace everyday one day at time.
I m a divorced man. I have 4 children. My xwife left me after 15 years. I provided everything I could for her and kids. I supported her thru her schooling. When she finished her schooling, she got a job and then filed for divorce. I was working all 15 years plus and paying all bills. Plus, I put a lot of time in raising 4 kids. 4th one turned 5 in April 2020. The other ones are older. After divorce, all kids do not call me, they don’t respond to my emails, no text messages, and xwife does not let me talk to them via phone. I have visitation rights every 2 weeks, but hardly any kid shows up when I go pick them up and xwife always have excuses like ” I cannot force kids to go with you”…….How can you force a 5 year old to go to his dad? You can’t and you shouldn’t. Before divorce, everything was lovely with kids and me spending time with them etc etc….after divorce, their communication with them changed.
I feel so lonely and I live in an apartment by myself. Most of my friends have lessened communication with me….they are all married and most of their wives are friends with my xwife….I am 44 years old now and I feel very lonely.
I work for a school district, and due to pandemic, schools are closed.
I just feel like I want to run out of this world and land onto another planet!
I have an emotional struggle from beginning, diagnosed. I take everything too much to my heart. I thought she will be my life partner when I married her. She betrayed me and left me after I helped raise 4 kids and when she started making money.
I was ready to purchase a house together with her help with both incomes combined…and now that dream is shattered and now what I hear from the kids is “mom is going to get us a big house with each of us having bedrooms etc etc” ….what a shame to have a house for herself and kids and I helped so much all these years…I am just very sickened with all this….
Judge granted her a percentage of my salary as child support. She was not happy and was wanting ALL of my salary…and for me to move in with my parents and live for free while she enjoys my FULL salary.
We were separated in Sept 2019 and final divorce occurred in May 2020. But it feels so weird to be alone.
I hope this is kept confidential.
12:09 A.M. 3 weeks fresh out of a 10 year relationship.Thank You for writing this post I know it won’t be easy but I also know it won’t be impossible!
Life sucks and then u die. Just waiting til the second part. My life is just a cycle of wake up, if I slept, go to work, come home maybe eat something go to bed, rinse repeat. Life sucks
I’m two years into a bitter divorce after a 35 year marriage. I have done everything I can to keep my children out of it and they have been turned against me too. The woman I married is a sociopath and the problem with sociopaths is that they are chameleons….people don’t recognize them. I didn’t recognize it until last year, and I’m no fool. Her actions are part of a scorched-earth strategy to destroy me. And it has been working spectacularly with a few small exceptions. One day I will tell my side of the story. She filed, not me, and at first I wanted to reconcile. Now I count my blessings that I won’t have her as a caregiver in my old age, as I have no doubt I’d be abused by her. So in the “gratitude” section the biggest source is knowing I’m better off without this person, no matter how much vitriol and hate she directs at me.
Thank you for this really nice article. I was married for 15 years and have been single for almost a year now. You hit the nail on the head with everything that you said. I appreciate it.
Very relatable to my situation. Thank you for the kind words.
Thanks for this article :
I still
Don’t know what to do . Really what to do. I
So want to meet someone. I am exhausted and disappointed – I feel hopeless /
Like I am just going through the motions. I haven’t felt this. As in a long time.